Pioneer Christian Monthly - September, 1987

Helping Children Be The Best They Can Be
Tom Welscott

Everyone wants their children to have the best opportunities to make something of themselves. How do we, as parents, do that? We can make appropriate provisions for their future education. We can give numerous opportunities for development of special talents and interests. We can broaden their perspective of the world by giving them a wide variety of cultural experiences.

But is that enough to insure the best for their future? Only time will tell how effective our individual parenting strategy will be in achieving the best for our child's future.

Today, however, let us consider some aspects of our child's development that can greatly affect their future. I like to think of these as the foundation of a tall building' In order for the building to withstand years of abuse by the natural elements it must have a good foundation. If we drive by once the building is completed and the nice green landscaping is in place, we don't realize what a hole was required to put that building on a solid foundation. The foundation for each child is very similar to the foundation that was required for such a building.

The first building block that originates in the home is a sense of security in ourselves and in the God who made us and who has a plan for each of us. Here we are talking about bringing security to our child's world by being secure in ourselves as parents. You may ask how does that come across in the family? A parent's insecurity with work, family or life in general soon gets passed along to the child. As Christians, we need to realize that many of the things we are tempted to look to for security - a secure job, nice home, good marriage, good retirement plan, etc. - can be very short-lived as unexpected changes come into our lives.

The spiritual building block that can bring security in the family is confidence in a loving God who cares for each of us and has a plan for our lives no matter what happens . . Paul reminds us of this in Romans, where he says, "All things work together for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose". As parents see their lives in the light of a God who loves and cares and is very active in the life of their family for the good, that confidence lays one of the building blocks needed. It is this building block that gives our children confidence to face life's challenges with confidence in themselves and their God.

A second building block in the foundation is a positive healthy relationship between husband and wife. You may ask how this will affect the child's security and ability to grow and be their best. Now again, we are taking a look at the building blocks underneath the surface which are not as visible as the activities we may engage our children in as we chauffeur them here and there, but which are, in the long run, even more important. We are told that tension between a husband and wife will cause even a little infant to be on edge, and thus we can't ignore this element in the development of our children. Parents are also a model for their children in coping with life. Our attitudes build the confidence in them to face a world full of complex problems and give them a pattern of how to deal with conflicts as they arise.

Parents have a big job that is not easy, but God does make available spiritual resources to make our job easier. God has created each of us and each of our children, and He wants to help us, as parents, provide solid building blocks for our children.

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