Pioneer Christian Monthly - September, 1975

The Twelve Couples Who Went
Richard Westra

Think about those questions for a while and write your response on a piece of paper. When your husband comes home from work or your wife finishes the dishes, tell him or her how you responded. To become one flesh involves more than living in the same house and sharing the same bedroom. It involves around-the-clock communication. Les and Joan McSpadden gave us some sound Biblical insights on what we must do to keep relating. Working at this in several sessions, we learned the joy and pain of becoming one flesh.

On Sunday morning while gathered for worship on the hill outside of the main dining room, we heard the word of God through his servant, the Rev. Will Kroon. God repeated what he said to us throughout the first two days. First, we must encourage one another by the kind of words we use, by the sorts of things we expect from each other, and by the way we respond to each others needs. Second, we were taught to build up each other in such a way that the responsibilities of marriage become a sharing together of the load. We will grow together as we share in an open and honest way our burdens, our work as parents, our ideas, our feelings and our hopes or ambitions. Third, we were called upon to trust in God for the wisdom, strength, and love to sustain and strengthen our marriage Unless God builds the house through our daily communication with him, we labour in vain by trying to put the bricks in the right place.

I have tried to share with you some of the excitement and some of the growing pains we all experienced that weekend. Comments from others who attended were: "I enjoyed the closeness of the group...... I enjoyed the time together just to talk as husband and wife." "I was surprised to find that other couples were experiencing the same sorts of things in their marriage", and "I enjoyed the relaxing atmosphere."

Some of you may not go to a weekend such as this because you are afraid that you will have to be someone other than who you are. Others of you may think that the cost is too prohibitive. Some others of you may think that this sort of thing is only for marriages that are on the 'rocks'. Still others may feel it is a waste of time. My only response is, "Don't be afraid to come as a person who can always benefit from the encouragement and help of other Christian husbands and wives. If you get a chance to enrich your marriage through one of these retreats, don't first look into your pocket book. And don't wait till your marriage is in trouble."

In a time when husband and wife are constantly barraged with notions that a diverse is a solution to a troubled marriage, we need all the help we can from each other in the way of encouragement and edification regarding the Biblical principle of marriage as a relationship of 'becomers'. We need to constantly gather together before God in search of his guidance and counsel. Our home has benefited from being together with other husbands and wives, and I know the other eleven couples feel the same way. If you have an opportunity to attend a retreat on "marriage communication", don't ask yourself whether you need it. Get in your car, along with your husband or wife, and go!

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