After leaving the wedding of the daughter of our very dear friends, I reviewed the evening’s events with a mixture of emotion. While I enjoyed the festivities and getting to visit with old friends, the night was a combination of fond remembrances and sad longings for the years gone by. No one can look at their friends' grown children and not be struck with the swift movement of life's milestones. I listened to the speeches from selected family and friends, and I lifted my glass to toast the bride and groom, all the while drifting from the present to the past. Of course, as a mother, I can't attend a wedding without thinking of my own special day, as well as all the memorable events leading to this time.

This past year offered a culmination of events that forced me repeatedly into tearful nostalgia. My oldest graduated from college. My middle child graduated from high school, and my baby turned thirteen. I've thought sadly about the few years left before my children inevitably leave home.

My husband consistently assures me that middle age will be wonderful, that he loves me more now than when we married twenty- three years ago. He looks happily at the opportunity to travel the world, to actually have money to spend on ourselves, to eat a whole pie, and to have an uninterrupted conversation with his wife. After hearing this positive litany for the hundredth time, I watch him load the trunk with my son's hockey gear and I realize he's too busy with the present to be worried about the future.

Twenty years ago, before we came to know the Lord, I struggled with a strong desire to be a full-time mom because pursuing a career seemed like what I was suppose to do. Again, my husband encouraged me with a list filled with the reasons I should stay home with our new baby. He said nothing was more worthwhile or more valuable than a good mother. There was no other career he respected more. That was it. I had my husband's respect, his love, and his support. A career wouldn't do more than that. When we made Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, His words reinforced our desire to be the best godly parents possible. Our judgments were based on the Word of God, and now I can say gratefully, we have no serious regrets.

When it was the bride's turn to express her gratitude, there wasn't a dry eye in the hall as she extolled the wonderful virtues of her beloved parents: how they stood by her, corrected her, and gave her all she ever needed. My friends beamed proudly in return at their lovely daughter. In soulful meditation, I imagined what my children might say about us. Whether they understood our motivation behind each decision, only time will tell.

Over the years, there have been many opportunities and temptations to become less of a parent and more of a friend to my children. Times when I understood how important it was for my daughter to be with her friends doing something that wasn't in her best interest, times when I was close to caving. But thankfully, I had a backup who remained strong. My husband recited a different list at those times, reminding me that we had a job to do that couldn't be compromised without regrettable results. Often, we felt isolated in our narrow point of view. Sometimes I wondered why God gave everyone a chance at parenthood. Often feeling like the blind leading the blind, our inclination always leaned toward the side of caution even with the advice of well-intentioned family and friends. When the picture became foggy, God's Word offered us clarity. When we needed assurances, it was the Word that showed my children why they couldn't participate in so many of the world's pleasures.

There have been sporadic bursts of confrontation, but mostly our children have remained free of the rebellion that tears apart so many homes. Discussions with friends over the right course of action to take in difficult situations has led me to believe that remaining strong in our Christian principles will be challenged from every front. We have witnessed the compromises that keep children happy, but which will ultimately lead a family into harder times, and often irrevocable consequences.

As a young mother, I wasn't looking at specific future events when we prayed as a family or when we made church a priority over hockey and baseball. I wasn't imagining their graduation from college when we said no to many popular movies and plenty of TV, or when we drove 20 miles to put them in a Christian school.

Too often I have heard people express a need to be their child's friend. Although the pain of rejection that accompanies being a parent sometimes made me understand, I also realized that to become an equal or a friend means forfeiting authority, which can threaten a child's security. We are expected to be many things for our children, but one day not too far in the future, friendship will be a welcomed reward. While the whole world is dancing to the tune of a different drummer, our ears have to be closely tuned to the direction of the Holy Spirit, who will guide us into all truth. We can be confident that our children will know that the truth we speak is trusted and true, however unpopular.

I know my husband is right to look forward to our time together alone because it is the promotion we deserve in our short career as parents. The most explicit knowledge of God's love is shown in the Bible. Proverbs 4:10-13 says, "Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings, and the years of thy life shall be many." Ephesians 6:1 also says, "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee and thou may live long on this earth." It is beneficial for our children to live obedient lives, to learn to submit to authority. It is His instruction through us that will compel my children to live as God intended. From time to time I will remember my little babies and miss their total dependence on their dad and me. However, the sweet rewards of a job well done will culminate not in a few words spoken in tribute, but through the actions of godly children growing up in a ungodly world.