My dearly beloved of 21 years playfully coerced me into packing a suitcase of casual clothing and whisked me away in our horseless carriage. He proffered no further details of our destination, so like pixilated newlyweds we spent the next two hours engaged in guessing games, or at least I did.

"Where are you taking me?" I wanted to know.

"It’s a surprise."

Finally our arrival was imminent. The brilliant sign outside the cozy motel was the final piece of the puzzle: "Welcome Reformed Marriage Encounter Couples!" I was surprised.

Although, after two decades of loving, cherishing, honouring, and obeying, I wondered what difference a marriage encounter would make in our busy lives; but I was excited about our spending two days together in this seemingly romantic and snug getaway.

Little did I realize what God had in store for both of us that weekend. To this day, I am amazed at how much I discovered in 48 hours about myself and the man with whom I had shared so many matrimonial moments.

Friends of ours had previously attended a Marriage Encounter (ME) and highly recommended it as a way to strengthen and enhance communications in marriage. They were correct. Through intimate moments of sharing and personal reflection, both my husband and I came to realize God’s hand in our marriage. As a result, our bonds were secured and our commitment to each other was taken to a different level. For the first time, I realized what God meant when He said in His word, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh…" Genesis 2:24 NIV

ME leaders (presenting couples) reflected upon their own experiences and, albeit an emotional journey at times, were extremely honest and sincere, causing us to consider our own unique relationships. Because the focus of the weekend was to be on each other, couples, after listening to presentations on particular topics, were encouraged to discuss their thoughts and feelings in the privacy of their own rooms, following established guidelines.

Although ME is not a group-oriented weekend, we did have opportunities to enjoy fellowship and meal times with other couples. With so many aspersions flung directly in the path of healthy marriages today, it was refreshing to realize that the 40 couples in attendance were of like mind each wanting to strengthen their relationship and be pleasing to God Who ordained marriage in the first place.

Adherence to the Reformed faith is part of the mandate of ME. However, no attempt was made to force viewpoints on anyone. In fact, couples from other faiths are encouraged to attend. At our weekend, there was one couple who did not go to church and did not profess any particular faith. After the glory that was given to God that weekend, and the way the leaders stressed the importance of letting the Lord be an integral part of marriage relationships, I am sure seeds must have been planted.

"Feelings are neither right nor wrong; they just are." Much emphasis was placed upon each other’s feelings and on how important it is to recognize and communicate feelings to each other. Feelings, as we were told, merely signal that something is going on inside; therefore, they cannot be judged as right or wrong. I was particularly intrigued to discover the difference between feelings and thought and was shocked to realize how often I confused the two.

In the Mission Statement of the Reformed Marriage Encounter, in Part E, it reads as follows: God is so invested in couple love that this special relationship has been chosen by Him to be an illustration of the relationship between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5). God cares how we live as married couples. After reading and reflecting upon that section, I was filled with awe. Marriage is a responsibility and a commitment not to be taken lightly. Our roles as husband and wife are unique and an integral way of strengthening foundations.

As we learn how to experience joy-filled and happy marriages, we not only better equip ourselves for our own personal relationships, we become a light for Jesus. Our children experience that same joy and learn, through example, that there are alternative ways to solve problems.

The family is a gift to be cherished. What a powerful witness for Christ as the world gazes upon families with a firm foundation. What an exciting concept when we think beyond the strengthened family to the neighbourhood, the society, and the nation as a whole. God has wonderful plans for the family, and the Reformed Church Marriage Encounter is a way of equipping husbands and wives with tools for the task.

The great news is that it is never too late. There are no age restrictions nor prerequisite years of marriage for attendance at Marriage Encounter weekends. When my husband and I attended, there was one couple who had been married 43 years.

ME is not a quick fix for troubled marriages, nor will it make problems disappear. There is no magic wand that suddenly changes husbands and wives, but what there is, is inspiration and encouragement from God’s word as evidenced in the lives of ordinary people. There is opportunity to reflect and to learn communication techniques. There is occasion to renew and refresh and to change the vow from "I once did" back to "I do." The wedding was a mere day. Marriage is a lifetime.

For both my husband and I, the experience at Reformed Marriage Encounter was a significant turning point in our lives. On the return trip following our memorable weekend, instead of guessing games, our conversation was bathed in an amazing afterglow. Although we still laughed and chatted as before, there was a deeper appreciation for each other, an appreciation that could only be credited to the One who created Eve to be Adam’s sole mate and constant companion. To God we give the glory; to His servants who make it possible, we give our heartiest thanks. For those who may be even a little bit curious, there are two more ME weekends scheduled for this year: one on October 15-17 in Peterborough, Ontario, and the next one on November 5-7 in Vineland, Ontario.

For further information about Reformed Marriage Encounters or to find out how to register for the upcoming ME experience, please contact Jamie and Wilma Kulyk, 280 Church Street, Newcastle, Ontario, L1B 1C5; (905) 987-4272.

It makes a wonderful surprise for an unsuspecting spouse.

"Love one another as I have loved you." John 15:12