Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - Oct/96

Contributor - Babette Moerman

Title - Making Friends Keeping Friends

Topic - And Precious Silver

The Visitor-Friendly Women's Ministry

Walking into a room full of strangers can be very intimidating, if not a little scary! And it doesn't matter that the setting happens to be a church building or the home of a hospitable hostess. Awkward stares and silence, feelings of selfconsciousness, sweaty palms, and racing heartbeats are all typical newcomer experience&-at the best of times.

Can you relate? Maybe you were that woman who braved the church doors to attend your first Women's Bible Study or fellowship group. But then, maybe you've never been in that position. Maybe you've been 'a regular' since day one! In that case, have I got news for you!

The news is this: we've got to put ourselves in the shoes of newcomers and become aware of their feelings and needs. If we can feel what they feel, well be better equipped to do something constructive about it. A visitor-friendly Women's Ministry is essential for newcomer growth to take place. Growth is a sign of a healthy and nurturing ministry.

Ask yourself these questions to determine how visitor-friendly your particular Women's Ministry is right now:

When was the last time a genuine newcomer (as opposed to an out-of-town visitor) came to your group?

Did she return?

What percentage of your "first-time attendees' become a regular part of your women's fellowship?

Do the women in your group feel comfortable enough to invite and bring their friends, family members, and neighbors to a women's Bible Study or Outreach Event?

A Women's Ministry that exhibits visitor-friendly traits is a group that will have newcomers. Regularly. Consistently. Frequently. Members of the group will not hesitate to invite and bring their friends, relatives, and neighbors from their community. And a good percentage of those newcomers will return and return and become 'regulars' themselves.

What are some of these traits of a Visitor-Friendly Women's Ministry?

GENUINE ACCEPTANCE

Newcomers need to see and experience that the group is an open group-not just in words and catchy slogans, but in reality and with action. We all know in our minds that it is Biblical for us to be open and welcoming to newcomers, but to practice this from our hearts can be much more of a challenge (if not a struggle from time to time!). Our Women's Ministries must consciously work at being open to all women, regardless of age, background, or marital status.

WOMEN WHO CARE

Newcomers need to be welcomed by loving and caring women in the group. There is nothing that compares to the love and beauty of Jesus Christ in someone's life to attract and draw a newcomer in Newcomers typically come, search of friendships. What better place for true friendships to begin take root, develop, and grow than in the context of Bible study, worship, prayer, and sharing from on own lives in a Christian Women's Ministry!

Other than what's been mentioned so far, I have three specific suggestions to improve our visitor friendly skills:

1. Have Greeters! Have a warm and cheerful greeter ready to welcome the women upon their arrival at the church (or house) where your women's group meets. It is very important to kindly receive and make contact with newcomers as soon as possible. Have the greeter direct mothers and their children to the appropriate child care or nursery class and show the women to the meeting room, etc.

2. Have Nametags! Everyone still likes the personal touch of being called by their name. Have the same nametags for all the women in the group to help in learning one another's names. Don't have separate, different-looking tags for newcomers. They already feel like they stand out enough as it is! Try to memorize the names of newcomers as quickly as you can.

3. Have Registrationl The greeter should register newcomers so that they can receive a follow-up phone call, thankyou card, and/or personal visit. Follow-up is another essential task in making newcomers feel welcome in your group. Take the time to show new attendees that you noticed them coming and that you care about them and their needs.

4. Have Extra Chairs! Set up some extra chairs to show your anticipation of newcomers. This is important for two reasons. First, it removes the awkwardness visitors often feel in trying to quickly find a place to sit down. Do not set out "just enough" chairs. This calls for obvious attention as newcomers wait nervously for an extra chair to be located. Second, estra chairs remind regular attendees to invite guests to fill the open places. In fact, calling special attention and praying for the women who will be seated in that empty chair next week is a great idea!

5. Have Sincere Conversations! In striking up a conversation with a newcomer, move beyond token words and common cliches. Introduce yourself in meaningful ways and give of yourself. Show that you are genuinely interested in getting to know this visitor, and take your time talking with her. Before you leave your conversation, introduce the newcomer to another woman. Leaving a newcomer standing or sitting alone is one of the worst things you can do.

6. Have Good-Byes! Be sure to personally thank each visitor for coming. Upon their departure, invite her to the next event. Bonus Suggestion! Go the extra mile by inviting the visitor to your home for lunch, dinner, dessert, tea, or coffee. It doesn't really matter what you invite her for, the main thing is to extend a warm and welcoming invitation to your home. Newcomers have remarked how hospitable invitations like these have meant the world to them and are never forgotten.

In our various Women's Ministries, may we all pray and work towards being as visitor-friendly as possible!

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