Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - Oct/93

Contributor - Jean Honken

Title - Covenant Kids - A Christian mother reflects on baptism

Topic - Baptism

Justin was born two months ago and his parents thought it was time to have him baptized. They set up an appointment to meet with their pastor and he began to explain why we baptize our children. In their conversation, however, a word was mentioned several times which was foreign to the parents, and that word was "covenant". The pastor explained that because the parents were Christians, Dustin was a covenant child and that he already belonged to God.

The pastor went on to say that baptism is God's gift to the church. Baptism, as it is celebrated in the Reformed Church, has Old Testament roots dating back to the time when Abraham was informed by God that his faithfulness and obedience were not going unnoticed. God told him that He would give him a sign that would be a mark of his righteousness by faith. This sign was circumcision. Even though it was a painful sign, Abraham gladly accepted it and obediently carried out the order, not only on himself, but with every male member within his household. "And I will establish my covenant between me and you and your descendants after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your descendants after you." (Gen. 17:7) And that is parents, as well as for the entire church where he will be baptized. God is keeping His covenant with us, now we are called to keep our part of the covenant.

Parents come before other believers in the church and publicly recognize that: 1) their child is sinftil by nature and stands under the judgement of God; 2) that baptism is a sign and a seal of our relationship with Christ and His church; and 3) that we are called to be obedient to God with every fibre of our being. Parents also take vows concerning their children before God and His church: 1) they accept God's grace in Jesus Christ as the only way to eternal life; 2) they acknowledge that even though their child is sinful, he is numbered among God's people, namely the I church, and finally 3) they promise to instruct him in God's Word in a way that will ultimately lead him to make his own decision for Christ.

The child is then baptized and publicly received into the visible membership of the church. This public act of baptism, done in the context of the Christian Church, is significant for everyone involved. Baptism is a sign that points to what Jesus Christ has already done for the Christian parents as well as the child. As parents and members of Christ's church, we have a tremendous responsibility set before us when a child is baptized. We need to understand our faith and how to pass it on to the next generation. It is our duty as believers.

Children, at an early age, need to understand the battle that is waging within all of us - to reject God and to go our own way. Even the rebellion children show towards their parents is indicative of that. However, parents should use the sign of baptism to point out the need for repentance and salvation. Baptism should also remind the child of how much God loves him and how much He desires for him to live a life of faith and obedience.

So how does this happen? It does not happen with the wave of a magic wand, or with the snap of a finger, or with a few drops of water sprinkled on the child's head. Children need to see a godly life being lived out in their parents if they are to understand what it means to be "set apart for God." In this age of fast-food, fast-cooking, fast travel, fast-work, and fast-everything else, we have forgotten how much time it takes to educate our children in the Christian faith. For this to happen, it takes a lot of loving, caring, sharing, forgiving, serving, worshipping, romping, laughing, playing, reading, studying and praying. Each activity is important. Our children need to see in ways they can easily understand that we really do love them and our neighbour as yourself. Before God can become a personal reality in the lives of our covenant children, we as parents and church people need to know Him ourselves. That's possible only through diligent study of His Word, and listening with open hearts and ears to what He is saying. It's never too early to begin, and it's never too late to start. Children feel secure, and quickly acquire a sense of well-being if they know who they are. They need to feel secure within their own family, they also need to experience it in the family of God, the church.

Thirty years ago when our two children were just starting to talk, we taught them Psalm 125:2, "As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about his people." I well remember the sense of security we all felt from this verse, and that was 30 some years ago. It is still a very important verse for my family today. God is everywhere. He loves us. He cares for us. My husband and I always try to remind our children who they were and who they belonged to. They were God's kids, and I'm sure they knew that long before they were three or four years old. Their longing to serve God and His church was evident at an early age in their lives.

Public schools today are calling for more parental involvement in the life of their children. "Where we are being beaten... is not at the table in the school rooms," says New Brunswick Premier Frank McKenna, "it's at the table in the kitchen." "Education reform in Ontario is doomed to fail unless parents become involved in their children's schooling. Parental interest and involvement - that's the missing element in today's education. We as parents must create a 'learning culture' for our children. We must ensure homework is done. We must read to our children. We must make sure they get enough rest. We must limit their TV viewing time. We must support teachers in their efforts. And we must let our children know that we have high expectations of them." (Toronto Star, August 6, 1993) Christian parents must apply these same ideas to training their children in holy living.

Striving together for holy living helps create a bond between parent and child that is essential in their daily walk with God. If children do not see a consistent Christian lifestyle in their parents, they will not only reject that lifestyle and their parents, hut God as well. And if members of the church do not reflect a happy, committed life, children will also reject the little bit of faith they find demonstrated there. We are all responsible to live a life that is filled with holiness, love for God and others. We are all called to create within the church an atmosphere of love, joy, peace, acceptance and hope that will draw people to God, particularly our children.

How can we live a life of consistency between the words we speak and the deeds we do? How can we live in a warm and trusting relationship with youngsters for whom we are responsible? The answer is: we cannot by ourselves. But if we are willing to be open to the creative power of God, He can lift us beyond ourselves and make us greater than we are. He has called us to love as Christ loves us, and in His mercy He enables us to do it.

"If any man is in Christ, he is a new creation." 'ne God who raised Christ from the dead can raise us up from immersion in our own ego and enable us to genuinely love and care for the people around us. God's transforming power is available, if we are willing to be transformed.

My heart went out to a young man as he reflected on the relationship he had with his father. He said: "I haven't talked seriously with my dad in ten years. My father is not the type who sits and listens. He sits and tells me, when he bothers to say anything to me. When I sit down to talk to my dad, he falls asleep. If I take a problem to him, he immediately jumps on my case and tells me what to do. I'm old enough for a discussion, not an ultimatum. I recall one day when I came home to tell my folks that I had just gotten an "A" in Advance Placement Physics. My father and I got involved in something the minute I walked into the door, and it ended with him telling me that I was not old enough to have a serious opinion about anything. I walked out of the house and I never did tell him about the "A". Next year I plan to go into the Navy and after that I will enter college. If I'm lucky, this will be my last year at home." My heart goes out to this young man.

What is the problem between this young man and his father? Dad is not interested in his son as a person. He is more concerned with his own interests, and the boy is out on the fringes of his concern. Listen to his son? Not at all, he goes to sleep. And when he does talk, it is "to" him, not "with" him; he always wants to dominate the conversation. But when that father begins to find the real security of being in Christ, a security that frees him from having to be constantly defending his own ego, then you will see that father's life transformed. Then he will not be compelled to assert and protect his sensitive ego by dominating his son's life, he can allow the boy to be a person in his own right, with thoughts and judgements that are worth listening to. He will listen with a genuine interest, for then he will know that the boy, like himself, needs to know that people are hearing what he says, needs to have people look him in the eye and acknowledge that he is there and important. I recently saw a note fastened to the side of the refrigerator at my son and daughter-in-law's home in Iowa. With his own hand my son had written:

The Key Principle for Godly Parenting. Become what you want them to be, and then stay close enough to them for it to rub off.

The objective of love in the home is to provide a relationship of firmness and tolerance within which each child may gain a sense of self-control, self-esteem, and relationship with others. It isn't easy and it takes time, but our children deserve our respect,- our love and a faith in us that is real, and with God's help they will turn their hearts toward Him. Ultimately, this is what Christ prays for, as well as most moms and dads who love the Lord. Let's work harder on making our deeds match our words and orders and commands, but by our example.

Now a note to the covenant kids. I am a happy wife, mother of a son and daughter, and a grandmother of two lovely grandchildren. I have spent most of my adult life fixing meals, cleaning house, making beds, having parties, talking with teenagers and young adults, and teaching young parents how the Christian family life can best be lived. Am I an expert? Does every one listen to me? By no means... but the Lord has shown me enough fruit from my efforts and that makes me very happy. Don't expect perfection from your parents. Perfection belongs only to God. No one is perfect, and fife is sometimes tough for parents. By suppertime, when you want to talk and share and play, they still have work to do and they are stressed out and tired from a hard day at their workplace. So be patient with them, the weekend is coming. hi the meantime help them however you can, and always be obedient.

And by all means take time for God in your life. If you think you are too young right now for God stuff, you are wrong. If you wait until you are old enough, it may be too late. Many people come to know the Lord at a very early age and those who don't, hardly ever come to know Him and trust Him. He is a wonderful person to know! If you do not have a time of sharing and reading the Bible and praying in your home, encourage your parents or your brothers and sisters to help you set up a time. My family would do this right after meals. That seemed best because it was a time when we were all together as a family.

Let us not forget that the God we serve is the same God Abraham served, and this God of Abraham included all of us in His covenant promises, including: parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren, and future generations - Christ's whole church on earth. May God bless each one of us as we strive to five the life of repentance, faith and service that our baptism calls to do.

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