Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - Nov/93

Contributor - Dave Alexander

Title - Baalam and I

Topic -

Stories have always helped me to understand things. Rather like the way the parables Jesus told helped the common people understand His teachings, books, magazine articles and TV programs have helped me to understand my experiences. When I was about 17 years old, I had that age's typical struggles with parents. A movie entitled "Me, Natalie" about a teenage girl's family conflicts shed fight on my situation.

I'm a life-long Christian. My life has been permeated with the Bible. I was in Sunday school every week from the pre-school class through high school graduation. Even as a soldier for 2 1/2 years I was in church almost every week. Many of the Bible stories I learned in Sunday school and church have aided me in my search for self-understanding. When I'm asked to answer "Why did you come to Taiwan?" type questions, the story of Baalam from Numbers 22-24 is helpful.

Baalam was a prophet. He had a gift from God that enabled him to either bless or curse people with the words of his mouth. A king of the region in which he lived was afraid of the children of Israel who were moving in from Egypt, so he hired Baalam to stand on a mountaintop and pronounce curses on them. He offered enough money to make the job attractive. Baalam asked God what to do, and God said "No", so Baalam refused the offer. But the king figured he was just bargaining, so a higher price was offered. Baalam accepted this offer, because he wanted the money. On the road to the job site, God used a talking ass and an angel to re-direct Baalam's zeal. Baalam complied with the requirements that he go and stand on the mountain, but instead of curses, blessings flowed from his mouth as the Lord gave him words to speak. The king who hired Baalam was angry. This was not the service he contracted for, but it is the manner in which God intended for His gift to Baalam to be used, and that is how things worked out.

In a way, Baalam's story is my story. I think I came out of my childhood and adolescence a bit short on self-esteem. All my life I had been an active church member, especially in the youth groups. During the time I studied in college I was a Sunday school teacher for the high school class. In December of 1975 1 graduated from College with a degree in Spanish language studies. As I stood there, a new graduate, thinking about the future, a few things looked like good possibilities for me. I wanted to study in graduate school. If a B.A. gave me improved self-esteem, an M.A. would do even better. I also wanted to spend a year studying at a theological seminary. I had no plan to be a pastor, just to have a better religious knowledge than the other Christians I might meet in churches. That would help my self-esteem, too.

Somewhere in my thinking there was a desire to spend a year in church service, especially overseas. I had gone to church and to college with people who held foreign missionaries in high regard. A year "in the mission field" would give me prestige in their eyes (and on my own). Not only that, maybe come judgement day it would count for something with God. (I guess I felt that a few merit points would serve me well then.) But more than points at the judgement or prestige in church, there was my religious pride. This had been nurtured by how well I had done in Sunday school and in youth groups, and how many evangelistic training programs I had participated in. I felt I knew the gospel very well. I was sure that I knew enough to go to a foreign culture with a foreign religion and tell people that they were wrong, and they could be "right" if they would believe Eke I did. I even told someone in my home country that since Taiwan was "spiritually empty" I certainly would have a contribution to make. At the time, I knew nothing about Taiwan culturally, religiously, politically or socially. My pride was more than pride, it was arrogance.

Baalam's gift was an ability to bless and to curse. My gifts were a B.A. degree and some letters of recommendation from pastors and professors. In 1976 there was a program of cooperation between the Reformed Church in America (to which I belong) and the Presbyterian Church in Taiwan. College graduates came from North America to Taiwan to spend a year living in student centres, teaching English in colleges and universities, and cooperating in the outreach of the church. I applied for a position and was accepted in the Spring of 1976. My motives were to increase my self-esteem, to gain prestige in church (and merit points in heaven), and to gain teaching experience at a college. I wanted this last one because I thought it would make it easier to get graduate school scholarships when I would return to my homeland.

When Baalam stood up to curse Israel, blessing flowed from his mouth When I came to Taiwan to be a great teacher and evangelist, beloved of many, I was humbled. As an English teacher I was surprised to learn that, though I spoke better English than MY students, they knew the grammar better than 1. As an evangelist I learned that my attitudes (that I knew better than others, and that Taiwan was a spiritually empty place) made it impossible for me to listen to anything the Taiwanese people had to say about their own experience or needs. Since I wouldn't listen to them, neither would they listen to me. I had come thinking that I knew the gospel, but I found that I knew only a lot of Bible verses. I had not enough theology to tie them together into a coherent picture, so I couldn't talk to anyone about a living faith. I could only tell people "what the Bible says". I had little testimony of my own.

One of my motives was to gain valuable teaching experience that would help me to get a scholarship to graduate school upon my return. Nobody had suggested this would be the case, but I created and believed this he anyway. After being here a while I found there were so many foreigners who had taught overseas that such experience was of little value for graduate school applications or scholarships. Through this and some other humiliations I was also brought to the understanding that no matter what service we render to God and the church, it counts nothing at judgement day, for we are saved by grace alone. There are no merit points.

A lot of these lessons were not clear to me immediately. They took years to become the norms of how I understood my experience. In general, the two years that I spent in Taiwan, starting in the summer of 1976, were good. I enjoyed respect and prestige from my students and many people in the church here and in North America. It influenced me to change my graduate school plans. I returned home in 1978 and studied for a Master's degrees in Theology and Education. My plan was that these would prepare me to return to Taiwan where I could obtain more respect, prestige and greater levels of self-esteem. but the process of study helped me to learn some humility and obedience, as well as respect for God and for the church.

In March of 1982 I returned to Taiwan and began to learn Taiwanese. Another humiliation for one who loves to talk. After two years of study I began to serve the Taiwan church where directed and requested. In 1985 my first child was born, followed by a second in 1991.

In Baalam's story the donkey speaks wisdom to the prophet. In my current story, the children speak wisdom to the father. Life for me has been full of blessings in disguise. Often it is a story that helps me to put it all into perspective.

May you, also, find stories to help you, even if like Baalam's, they include talking asses.

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