Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - May/92

Contributor - Margaret Drakeford

Title - Native Learning: Reflections of an Adoptive Mother

Topic - Canada

Several years ago we welcomed into our family a delightful little boy, just a month short of three years old. He was, and still is, a handsome lad with dark hair, dark grey-green eyes and a very light complexion. He looked rather more Italian than his native Cree Indian ancestry, until one saw him in profile and then there was something about the shape of his nose, which I would describe by the word "noble", and the stillness of his face in respose which gives the onlooker a hint of his true identity.

David and Sarah

David, as we named him, quite quickly settled down into the pattern of our family life, and together with my husband and our four biological children, we set about the task of making him feel a part of us.

My main concern was to make him feel safe and secure, because for much of his three years he had been in and out of foster homes and his sense of security was almost non-existent. My most poignant example of this fact was during his early days with us. From time to time the social worker who had brought us together, would stop by to check on how things were going. One day she had come in and was standing at the top of the stairs leading into the basement. I happened to be coming up the stairs with David and as soon as he saw her, he shouted,. "No," and clung to my leg. I shall never forget the fear in his voice - or the lump in my throat - as I bent down and gathered him to me and assured him that I was now his Mummy and he would be with us for always. It took many more years before that fear finally left him, however, for the most part, he settled down well. He didn't talk much at first but some of his actions were comical and he left no doubt as to his needs. He was busy, full of energy and had an obvious and natural curiosity of the world around him.

A year and a half later we brought into our family a little girl who had just celebrated her third birthday. Sarah was also Cree Indian although there had been white blood in her background which meant that she didn't qualify for Indian status with the authorities in Ottawa. Sarah, however, has the appearance that we white people tend to associate with native people. She has dark hair, dark brown (almost black) eyes and a darker complexion, a lovely child with a sweet, docile nature who seemed to blend easily into our family. I sometimes felt it was too easy, because her first three years had been spent moving between foster homes, her parents and grandparents before coming into Children's Aid care' However, she seemed happy and content and it was not difficult to care for her.

A Different Culture

Now here we were with a four and a half year old and a three-year old to raise coming from a background and culture that was completely different from ours. You may think that at these ages that doesn't count for much. Isn't it the environment that children grow up in that determines how they evolve? I've had so many people say that to me, and maybe they are fight in part, but I believe that there is far more to our natures than just environment and I certainly see in my two children traits of personality that have nothing to do with the atmosphere in which they're being raised. I find it fascinating, exciting, interesting and a real education to observe the basic genetic differences in people of other nations. Generally speaking, white people don't take enough time to think this through properly, hence our inability to understand the Arab peoples, for example, or the mind of the Orientals, or the aboriginal peoples of Australia. If I have learned anything at all from my two youngsters, it's just this, that white people must take the time to listen to others and treat their cultures with respect. I believe we have much to learn from each other.

Lessons I Learned

While living in the Montreal area, I became friends with a young woman whose warmth and humour I enjoyed and appreciated. After knowing her for a couple of months or so, I discovered, to my delight, that she was a Mohawk Indian.

From her, I have learned something of the nature and thinking of her people which has helped with my efforts at understanding David and Sarah. In talking with another friend whose cousin taught native people in the north, I learned that the Cree people are very humble and are embarrassed to be singled out in any way. He said that if he thought a child had a reading problem, he would have to ask four or five children to stand up and read together and then he would try to listen specifically for the one he suspected had problems. He also said that if any of them had to be reprimanded, they couldn't look at him because they felt unworthy. After that it was easy for me to stop saying to my two, "Why don't you look at me when I'm talking to you?" I realized then that I was dealing with something much more basic to their natures. The feelings of humility and self-effacement were inherent and deep within. I learned that if anything was troubling David, he could never come to me outright and ask to talk. He always acted up and became almost obnoxious in his behaviour and then the realization' that something was bothering him would hit me, and I would take him to his room and spend at least an hour persuading him to tell me what was wrong so we could talk about it and sort it out. Invariably. he would hide under his bedclothes or pillow and eventually the problem would come out in a series of short, muffled sentences. Even now, he prefers to write me a note if he has a problem, rather than sit down, face me and tell me.

A Different Learning Style

Inevitably these things had a bearing on their performance at school. I became concerned when I discovered that David was not handing in his assignments and projects when I knew he had done them. To my consternation, I found that he was spending hours writing and re-writing his projects because he was afraid they weren't good enough. He was afraid of being singled out, brought to the front of the class and told what was wrong with his work. Apparently this had happened once and he was afraid of it happening again. I was so disturbed that I wrote a letter about it to our local newspaper, the Hamilton Spectator, asking if other white parents with native children were experiencing the same kind of problems at school with their children. The newspaper decided not to publish my letter but asked if they could write an article on us instead. This they did, including interviews with the Director of the Hamilton Regional Indian Centre and a couple of people from the, Hamilton Board of Education. What I had learned from other people in past years was certainly borne out in their replies. The lady from the Indian Centre said, "Native children have a different learning style and don't learn as much through books as through, actual experience.", Someone on the Board of Education said. "They (native children) learn better from observation than from listening to instruction." This I also knew from a more enlightened teacher who had had Sarah in her class. She told me that she had learned to let Sarah stand on the side lines during gym or games until she had watched enough to know what she had to do. She would then join in when she was ready and would participate well, but she needed time to observe first. Incidentally, the man at the Board of Education also had observed that native children value cooperation above competitiveness. This attitude is one that all of us would do well to give some serious thought.

At the time the article was published, I visited the native museum at Niagara Falls, New York, with my Mohawk friend. Among other things we found there, was a letter written by a native mother to her child's white teacher explaining the difference between her child and white children: "We are not better, nor less than white people, just different." How true that is. No race is better or less than another. We are all different from each other but equal in God's sight, since we are all His creation.

The Plight of Native Children

One of the greatest benefits that came out of the newspaper article was the interest and support we received from the Native Centre. We met many fine people who encouraged us; one of these was Alice, who, we discovered lived only two blocks from us. She is also a Cree and had retained her native tongue, in the face of fierce opposition. From her, my Sarah, who had been trying to make bead bracelets and necklaces, learned to make the most beautiful necklaces and earrings. From Alice, also, I learned the horrific story of native children being forcibly removed form their homes at the age of eight and older to be placed in white residential schools because the government of the day decided that all Indian children should have equal opportunities for education. I'm sure they meant well at the time, but we all know how dreadfully and horribly this idea went astray. No thought was given to the fact that children were receiving education by their own methods and standards while safe and secure in the love of their homes and villages. No thought was given to the trauma these children suffered from being taken out of a loving atmosphere and placed in cold, unfriendly residences where they were told they mustn't speak in their own tongue-, that they were heathen; that their way of living was dirty, and so on. In recent years the amount of mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse that these children have suffered has come to light. This was all done in the name of education and worse still Christianity. May God forgive us all for this.

Several years ago I was in Australia and watched part of a TV documentary in which an aboriginal woman teacher was being interviewed. She was, apparently, teaching aboriginal children through methods reflecting their culture, namely, through stories, art, dance and music, with tremendous and amazing results. Why can't we in North America try these methods too? One of the things I discovered from people I was in touch with after the newspaper article had been published, was that research had been done in the area of how native children learn and, as far as I could ascertain, there was documentation verifying that these children do learn differently from white children. However, it seems this information is shelved and nothing has been done with it.

My knowledge of native culture is limited, but my love and respect for native people and their struggle for a "Separate Nation" identity, is sincere. I'd like to see a willingness to listen to each other. I see no reason why we can't work alongside each other in every sphere of life, each learning from the other in mutual trust and respect. Idealistic, yes, but what other hope do we have for the future of the nation of Canada?

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