Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - May/85

Contributor - Freda Witteveen

Title - Guest Editorial

Topic - Editorial

When I agreed to write this month's Guest Editorial, it was suggested that I write something in relation to this month's observance of the Festival of the Christian Home, formerly known as Mother's Day. I spent quite some time while going about my daily mothering-type tasks thinking about the subject and came to the conclusion that it is very difficult to editorialize about motherhood.

I could fill the column with flowery phrases and sweet sentiments about mothers in general, or my own mother in particular, whom I think is just about perfect, or my two wonderful grandmothers who are and were such special ladies. I could have asked my sister to write in my stead, but as the mother of seven children, including fifteen-month old twins, she just doesn't have the time.

We could spend some time examining the many joys and sorrows involved in parenting - the first step, A's on the report cards, the anguish of the first crush, seeing your firstborn poised behind the wheel of the family limousine.

Yet throughout all these experiences is threaded the cord of discipline, a most serious responsibility of all parents, and one which is often the topic of conversation around the coffee table, such as how to deal with the case of the disappearing cookies that "No one!" took. Discipline involves the training of the child toward particular rules of conduct that we, as parents, find desirable, disciplining on the outside so that eventually the rules of conduct become ingrained and the child has developed self-discipline. We, as parents, are therefore at all times examples of the rules of conduct or condition of order we feel is important. When we are not consistent in what we expect of the child or ourselves, the disciplining is weakened.

Discipline also means punishment or chastisement, although the popular method of psychologists today is the theory of positive reinforcement. Permissiveness as a child-rearing practice is most definitely out, while the emphasis is on accentuating positive behaviours and thereby eliminating the negative or undesirable behaviours.

Of course, our task as parents in disciplining is to make our children into disciples, true believers and followers of the teachings of our Lord and Saviour. Sometimes it seems as if we are not successful in achieving this goal, despite all our prayers and efforts. From this we must be aware that we work in a three- party union, a coalition if you will, including the child, we, the parents, and God. We don't have to feel guilt if outwardly it seems our children have abandoned the precepts we have tried so hard to instill.

At the same time, it may be beneficial to consider what aspect discipline maintains in our church and congregation. Are we clearly and consistently being taught our rules of conduct, or are we merely made aware of vague guidelines and left to make our own decisions? Some denominations are very explicit about their shoulds and should-nots, while perhaps we tend to lean toward the permissive side.

If we are not disciplined, can we be disciples? Is our discipline only to come from within? How are we to know, without a doubt, what our conduct should be in a world that is changing and unstable? Let us give these questions major attention in the month ahead. We are blessed with the opportunity to train up our children; let us also grasp with both hands the opportunity to train ourselves in the discipleship of Christ.

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