Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - May/76

Contributor - Beverly Harvey

Title - The Christian Home and Family

Topic - Family

The Christian family is one in which Jesus Christ is acknowledged as Saviour from sin and Lord over all of life. It is one in which God's forgiveness and love have been experienced and where that same forgiveness and love freely flows from one member of the family to the other. The home in which Christ is honored is a sanctuary for each member, a place to come "home" to at the end of each day after being buffeted by the pressures, rebukes, and demands placed on them by the outside world. One of the first places that the admonition "Do all to the glory of God" should be fulfilled should be in the Christian family. Loving one another is "to the glory of God"; being patient with one another's faults and shortcomings is "to the glory of God"; worshipping together through Bible reading and prayer is "to the glory of God"; encouraging one another to live a life of service is "to the glory of God"; working and playing together is "to the glory of God". In fact, every aspect of the Christian family's life together should be "to the glory of God".

What do people feel when they step into your home? Is it tension, rebellion, friction, apathy, boredom, a sense of not caring at all? Or is it a feeling of the loving care that each member of the family gives to the others? In a Christian family the worth of each individual person is recognized. Individuals find loving acceptance and understanding with opportunities for growth in the Christian faith.

A home that glorifies God does not happen automatically. It is something that has to be worked at with husband and wife (father and mother) as the leaders. Worshipping God together is an essential part in giving a sense of oneness, unity, to the family as a whole. How can we make worship a meaningful thing in our family life? To read a portion of the Bible and to pray when we have finished a meal together is a good start at worship but a danger lies in the same thing night after night and meal after meal with no variation. There is excitement in creativity and it should be experienced in our worship together too. Reading the Bible in a modern version often helps in understanding God's message, using children's Bible story versions will keep their attention, singing songs of praise and joy together, or memorizing verses together can make the worship time more meaningful. This should be a time of much prayer and learning to pray audibly with father, mother, and children all taking part. A set time for worship together every day should be a goal that parents should strive for, but worship should be something that invades every part of our life as a family. For example, is someone in the family starting on a trip? Then stand together with hands clasped and pray for God's blessing on that trip. Has one of the children just escaped serious injury in play? Stop for a moment with the child and bow before God in prayer of praise and thanksgiving for His protection and care; Is there a discipline problem to be solved? Turn to God with the family member involved and ask Him for wisdom and guidance? Is the evening sky aglow with the beauty of a sunset? Use it as an opportunity to share it with a family member in adoration and praise to the Creator; Is it time for the children to go to bed? Don't just send them there, take time to tuck; them in, pray with them, sing with them and assure them of God's love. Family worship, which will cultivate the attitude of thanksgiving and praise in the home, should permeate everything that happens in our day to day lives until the spirit of joy and gratitude is experienced in every relationship.

Of course, it does not please the Christian's enemy, Satan himself, when a home glorifies God and so many things are used by him to threaten the home and its stability. We live in a time when activities outside the home have a way of pulling a family apart. The activities may be good in themselves but wise choices must be made concerning them or they have a way of disrupting, for example, Sunday worship, family worship at home, they may take children or parents away from opportunities to study the Bible with other Christians, or replace areas of Christian service. Priorities must be set and prayed about. Much has been written about the use of the television set in the home but once again be reminded that it can be a blessing or a curse to a family and its use should be seriously discussed by parents and children. There is much that is being taught through the TV medium that is contrary to the Word of God and parents should be alert to the opportunity to teach children what the Bible has to say about obedience to authority, the sanctity of marriage, the blessing of obeying God's commandments about stealing, killing, adultery, honoring parents and other such things pertaining to the Christian life. The Psalmist has given wise words of instruction concerning the TV when he said, "I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes".

It is not only from outside influences that the Christian family is threatened but it can be seriously harmed from within too if we are not careful. The lives of Christian parents can actually be a threat to the unity of the home and be a means of destroying the growth of faith in the children. Parents who are forever worrying, complaining, and quarreling are saying to their children by their actions that the God to whom they pray and whom they worship on Sunday is not really to be fully trusted in every day life to "supply all their needs according to his riches in glory through Christ Jesus". Children grow in faith by seeing, listening, and observing how fully the Christian life is fulfilled in their parents.

There comes a time that can be terribly threatening to parents themselves, too, and that is when the parents must step down from their teaching and instruction position and let God be God in their children's lives. This is often a period of tension because of differences of opinions and ideas as to how life is to be lived and because it is a period of life when -young people must respond to God's free offer of salvation for themselves. No longer can they, nor do they want to, ride along on their parents' faith. It is often a time of testing for parents. Is there absolute faith in God's promise "I will be a God to you and to your children?" Are we willing to wait patiently as God works out His will and His way in the lives of the children He has given us for a while to train? In the Christian family there must always be love and open arms waiting for the young people who make wrong choices, meet temptation and fall into sin. The strength of the Christian family lies in permitting the love of Christ to flow through to every member of that family regardless of where they are in life or in their present relationship to the Lord, and families can be absolutely torn' apart if that patient, abiding love is not there.

Family life which is "to the glory of God" has to be worked at even when husband and wife are both Christians but often the situation is that only husband or wife is a Christian. Is it possible for a true Christian witness to take place even in a divided home? God has given some definite instruction for the behavior of the Christian partner. I Peter 3 : 1 says, "Wives, fit in with your husbands' plans; for then if they refuse to listen when you talk to them about the Lord, they will be won by your respectful, pure behavior. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words." (L.B.) This could most certainly be applied to believing husbands as well, "Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words."

Mrs. Billy Graham once said, "The best advice I ever heard given to a woman whose husband was not a Christian was 'Your business is not to make him good but to make him happy'. It's God's business to make him good." Christ will bless a home through the Christian husband or wife. I Corinthians 7 :14 says that the unbelieving husband or wife is sanctified by the believing partner and the children in the family are holy because of the one believing partner. In this situation more than in any other, the fruit of the Spirit, love, ' ,joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, will be used of the Lord to win the unbeliever to faith. God will be glorified in the home where one person is wholly and completely committed to that purpose.

O. Q. Hyder says in The People You Live With, "Homes in which the love of Christ fills every heart will be homes in which the Holy Spirit will be able to control, inspire, and guide every member and give power to resist temptation and to live godly lives." Submission to Christ will bring happiness to your family and home.

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