Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - Mar/92

Contributor - Donna Marie Gorley

Title - Mental Illness - No One Is Immune

Topic - Mental Illness

I was 36 years old. I should have been on top of the world - I had a loving husband, three beautiful, well-adjusted children, a job I enjoyed, and yet, I was sitting on the couch in my living room, sobbing my heart out. I could not have told you why. It was just what I was doing. I was not sleeping or eating. I felt separate and detached from my family and friends. I felt life going on around me, but I did not feel like I was taking part in life. I was irritable and seemed to always be bursting into tears for no real reasons. A favourite pastime, reading, brought neither enjoyment or relaxation. I just kept reading the same line over and over again. Music no longer inspired or entertained me. I tried doing housework daily, not because I wanted to, but because it was my "job" but I never seemed to get anywhere. I was neither happy nor sad, but I was frightened. What was happening to me?

As a psychiatric nurse, I should have recognized the classic symptoms of depression but that was something I helped treat in others. Certainly that could not happen to me, a psychiatric nurse and a Christian to boot.

A rare occurrence? An isolated event? Unfortunately not, for at least 15 percent of all adults, Christians included, will experience a major depression. That means that even if you don't experience a depression yourself, you will know someone who will. That makes mental illness fairly common, yet it is probably the illness most shrouded in fear and misconceptions. People are often embarrassed or ashamed to talk about it. Despite our "age of enlightenment" mental illness still has a stigma attached to it.

Some people with depression suspect that they are experiencing the consequence of personal failure or weakness, or a lack of 'real spirituality', not an illness. This type of thinking is substantiated by those who feel it is simply a question of "getting right with God" or "pulling yourself up by the bootstraps". Many people assume that their current good health, good habits or Christian life style makes them immune to mental illness. No one is immune unless, of course, you are something more than 'human'.

Like many physical illnesses, for example, diabetes, many types of mental illness are the result of a chemical imbalance. Like diabetes, the illness can usually be brought under control with medication. However, most of us are much more comfortable talking to a friend with diabetes than with a friend with mental illness. Yet, the person suffering from mental illness needs more support from family and friends now than at any other time in their life. If friends stop calling, their feelings of worthlessness and gentleness or strength. and simply ask God for a return to health. Remember, keep things short and simple.

As a spouse or family member, this will be a very distressing time for you. It may be up to you to convince your spouse to seek medical treatment. You will likely find yourself assuming more of the day-to-day responsibilities. Your partner may have withdrawn from you. Again, try to talk with them, but do not engage them in lengthy, detailed conversations, as your mate can only concentrate for very short periods of time. Even just to sit in the same room, reading quietly, offers gentle reassurance. Perhaps, your partner now clings to you for comfort, afraid to let you out of sight. It is not reasonable to expect you to be by their side always because of work or other responsibilities. Explain gently, but firmly, where you will be and how you can be reached. Maybe a friend or other family member can come and keep your partner company.

Because of the increasing demands made on you, coupled with your own fears and concerns about what is happening to your loved one, you may find yourself feeling frustrated and angry. You, too, are a victim of this illness. Share your feelings and concerns with someone close to you. Take advantage of your doctor or nurse and seek their advice and opinion. Talk to your pastor and request the prayers of your congregation. James 5:14-15 reminds us that when one of us is sick we should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well, the Lord will raise him up."

I was fortunate. An understanding and supportive husband, a caring physician and medication were the tools God used to bring about my recovery. I was able to return to work and resume being a wife and mother and am now fully recovered. Some friends are aware of my illness, others have chosen not to know. My personal experience, training and faith have taught me that while I have no special immunity to any of the diseases or troubles that plague every human being, I do have a Lord who will always make me whole again and walk with me though I walk through the darkest of valleys.

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