Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - Mar/89

Contributor - William Sanford Jr.

Title - Why Should I Forgive?

Topic - Forgiveness

It seems to me that every single human being who has ever lived has believed that forgiveness is a lovely idea. One need not be a Christian to be sure that forgiveness is somewhere high up there on a list of good moral ideals. Forgiveness is simply one of those "shoulds" for which we are all taught to strive. "Shoulds", however, are often a far cry from experienced reality.

I "should" love my neighbour as I love myself. This seems fine until it dawns on me that my neighbour might just include my enemy or my abrasive office-mate, my trusted friend who has betrayed me, or a family member with a serious problem. "But I tell you: 'Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven'." (Matthew 5:44-45a). Suddenly, a lovely idea and a high moral ideal has become a little too close for comfort. And when the individuals in question are those in whom we have invested much of ourselves, those in whom we have placed our hopes and trust....

Jesus counsels us to forgive, not because we "should" do this, but simply because it is our new nature to forgive. He tells us that we forgive because we are to experience what it is to "be sons of your Father in heaven." The Father forgives, the Son forgives, the Holy Spirit forgives, and the sons in the Son forgive too. How are we to experience that new nature bubbling up from deep within and blooming all over the place, if we rely on the old "shoulds" of the old law and commands?

The LORD tells us, through the words of the Apostle Paul, that "if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (II Corinthians 5:17). Jesus is new in us who believe. He is living His life out again in us! Our heart is to do the will of our Father in heaven. Of course I want to be a forgiving person! Jesus is my heart and He is a forgiving Person!

Therefore, my lesson is not to try and do something that I find strange and difficult to do, but to rest and allow Jesus to be Himself in me.

The hurts I harbour tend to make the garden of my life more of a desert rather than encouraging the natural blooming of its flowers Of grace. Holding anger deep within concerning something which did not go my way, or someone who did not add to my joy but somehow trampled down the blossoms, is simply being untrue to my new self in Christ. The waters of life, of which Jesus spoke, continually flow out from deep inside the believer. "Whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life" (John 4:14). My lesson to be learned is to rest and allow Jesus to be Himself in and through me, bubbling up and blooming everywhere.

Rather than trying to forgive, or telling myself that I "should" forgive, I may allow the Lord Jesus to be Himself in me and do the forgiving in and through me. I can allow myself to relax and admit that MY emotions are completely out of whack, that my thinking is not straight, and that my will is focused on the appearance of things rather than the Father. I need not cover up all my anger and hurt in the present situation, and pretend that I am DOING the Christian thing. That kind of "cover-up" only leads to more sickness and living the worldly lie. The anger will come out one way or another. The pain will reveal itself eventually. To keep the hurt inside and nurse it along, pretending that we "should" forgive if we were only spiritual enough, is to play into the hands of the devil and his bag of tricks. While we are pretending, the hurt and rejection are festering inside. As this is happening, we are telling ourselves that we are not really Christians because we have something negative that we "should not" have. Meanwhile, the devil is rejoicing because he has crippled another Christian - putting that one temporarily out of the active battle.

If the devil can only get us to evaluate ourselves on the basis of what we do or how we feel, rather than who we are in Christ, then he has put us out of commission for a spell. We will be too busy crying about how we have failed or how down we feel to be able to smell the flowers. Why should I forgive? Because I desire to be true to my new self in Christ. This learning to act according to my new self takes time and an inner awareness. I may make many mistakes. I may focus on the worldly patterns etched firmly on my brain. I may forget to listen to the Lord Jesus who lives in my heart by the Holy Spirit, but then again, the Father is not so much interested in performance as we are, but rather He glories in fellowshipping with His forgiven children in Christ.

Why should I forgive? Because I know that Jesus longs to take upon Himself my hurt, pain, sorrow, loneliness and everything else that makes me wither away. To deny Him this desire is to break the flow of His love in me. To hold on to my hurt is to play at being my own god, who can take vengeance and make all things go my own way. Not to forgive is to tell Him that I do not need Him to carry my burdens that I can do it myself To hold onto my hurts is simply not being true to myself. I have been given the grace of God and have seen how that grace has changed my life - starting with my heart. I have thanked God for becoming my Father in heaven by His holy act of adoption, and I know that I have been accepted by Him in His Beloved Son Jesus (Ephesians l: 5-6). I know that I have been made alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:4-5), and that Christ now lives in my heart by faith (Ephesians 3:17). If He who died for me now lives in me, and has done all these things for me, how can I now tell Him that I have no more need of Him to be "doing His thing", even now, in me.

He has taken away the separation that was between God and myself, and healed that gap. He desires to take away the pain, guilt and fear that the world system gives too freely (Romans 8:15; II Timothy 1:7; I John 4:18). Now, in me, God desires to reach out to others with that same healing hand. He desires to have the flowers of grace grow in the New Creation Garden He has planted in us. I would be untrue to myself if I withheld my forgiveness from another. It would be as if I were building a dam to keep the waters of life away from the parched land all around. Have I not been forgiven for all my sins, past, present, future? Forgiveness has been poured out upon me, can I withhold the same from others? This is impossible for those who have grasped the enormity of this precious gift of love! My horrible sins have been forgiven by the bloody sacrifice of Christ on the cross. He paid the greatest price of all, for me. This love He has for me, I want to let shine out from me, to others. My struggle is to turn . my eyes upon Jesus and let Him live His life out in me again. Jesus said: "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said ' streams of living water will flow from within him." By this He meant the Spirit, Whom those who believed in Him were later to receive" (John 7:37-39).

"We have not received the spirit of this world, but the Spirit Who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us." (I Corinthians 2:12). What God has freely given us is, first of all a new heart, a right Spirit within us, and complete forgiveness in Christ.

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