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Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America
Pioneer Christian Monthly
Date - Mar/84
Contributor - Agnes Labrie
Title - Being Single - A Gift or A Punishment?
Topic - Singles
I don't want to be a super-nurse or a writer and I'm not out to change the world.. I'd like to be snuggled under a nice warm comforter in my own bed in my own home with my family. I want that special feeling of being a mother for the first time. I'd like to have a husband to come to every evening and join me in watching our child grow and develop.... There is always the human tendency to see someone else's life as more secure and desirable. I must face the fact that for me to be a part of God's plan, I must relinquish a lot of those feelings.
I must be able to face loneliness when it comes. In I Peter 5:7 we read that God is always thinking about us and watching everything that concerns us. Sometimes loneliness is being in a group where no one knows where you are coming from and then again no one really cares. You feel like you live at the opposite end of the spectrum from everyone else. What you must then learn is that that's all right. Relax and learn from those around you, but still be true to your values.
But then we must also realize that nothing is pat and simple and full of romance. However great a man or fine a woman, marriage is not the ultimate fulfillment in life. It may be on the surface, and it may appear to give one an identity, even though a superficial one. As a person, you must be whole in yourself, and complete in Christ. You must first be at peace in the centre of yourself. There are a lot of positives and negatives to wherever one is in life. There are lonely days for singles and for marrieds. There are some roads which we must all walk alone, where on one but God Himself can pace the miles with us.
There are advantages to being single. You can decorate your home the way you want to, in your own taste. You are free to come and go at your own wish. You don't have to be concerned about meal preparations. You can eat what you want and when you want. Your days need only be organized around yourself. If you want to turn on the stereo or TV late at night you can because you won't be disturbing anyone. And when you come home at night, the kitchen and bathroom will be just as you left them. No dirty dishes in the sink and no wet towels in the hamper.
But then there are also those times hen I do come home after a busy and exhausting day and wish there was a husband to come home to, and give me a hug, to drink coffee with me and take care of me. I am not neglected at all ... I have a terrific family and wonderful friends who are very good to me, but if s just not the same as walking into my own place with the one person who understands me better than anyone else in the world.
There is also the question of how the single adult fits into the church family life. As often as not
irregular hours or shift work is encountered. This then eliminates a lot of the regularly
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