Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - Mar/81

Contributor - Annette Curry

Title - Getting Married?

Topic - Marriage

'Spring is in the air' and from looking around at the Young People in the area, I imagine that 'many a young man's (or woman's) heart has turned to love'. I expect most of you know someone or perhaps you are someone who recently got engaged or is getting married soon. Well, this article is meant for those who are planning marriage in the near future. My authority on this subject comes from Scripture, from Christian literature and from experience.

Marriage is an exciting event to look forward to and when contemplating this occasion it is often difficult to put the thoughts of marriage far from your mind. I remember celebrating each month of our engagement with an exchange of cards and sometimes even small gifts. It was an exciting feeling to be loved and to have someone whom you were planning the rest of your life with. We talked of the wedding service, the wedding reception, our apartment we would furnish and even thought a little of where the money would come from. We were both students and knew that 'two could live as cheaply as one!'Besides, it didn't really matter since we'd be together anyway.

All these plans are good and necessary but I want you to consider one more very important thing, your spiritual life together. By now, you know each other better than any one else and this knowledge will even become deeper. You want to share all your joys and sorrows, all your hopes and dreams, all your successes and failures; everything. What better way than to come before the Lord in prayer. For some of you, this. is easy; for others this is going to require courage but with God's help it will become a beautiful thing.

We have found in our marriage that some scripture reading before prayer .helps in focusing your prayers and avoiding repetitious prayers from day to day. This becomes our devotional time and we find it a meaningful way to begin a day. Time for devotions is important and it is also necessary not to rush it. However, once in a while it is unavoidable to be rushed, but then it is important not to skip devotions altogether. An abbreviated version for one day will do but don't let it become a habit. Good devotional books can be found anywhere and some are listed below.

Now you may wonder why I am writing this to those of you who are planning to get married. Although these thoughts can help those already married, it is much easier to begin before marriage and establish a regular routine. This doesn't mean you don't experiment with time and variety of devotions ... it does mean that you do it. If you don't start at the beginning of your marriage you will find it difficult to start when You want to do it with your children or you realize you need this time to fill a lack in your lives.

By all means, don't avoid personal devotions in favour of family devotions since it is important to come to the Father by yourself and pray for your specific needs and concerns as well as to meet together in prayer.

Do discuss these things before marriage. Consider the following points:

1. How can we become comfortable praying out loud before each other on a daily basis?

2. What format will our devotions take?

3 . What time will be best suited for us so that we will be there together every day without being rushed or too sleepy?

4. What will we do if we have company over at that time?

5. How are we going to make grace before and after meals meaningful?

As you look forward to your life together, do consider all aspects of marriage. I hope that these thoughts have been helpful. There are many other issues that you have to consider and many good books have been written about them. Here are a few you may want to look up: The Christian Family by Larry Christenson; Marriage is for Love by Richard L. Strauss; and The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye. A Christian Book Store has many other books and most of them can be very helpful in preparing for and journeying through marriage.

Some devotional books you may want to consider are: Moody Quiet Time books, Our Daily Bread or Words of Hope. You may also choose to read a chapter out of one of the above books each day instead of or in addition to a devotional. Remember, "the family that prays together, stays together!"

Please click the "Back" button of your browser to return to previous page.