Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - June/94

Contributor - Jeff Kingswood

Title - Covenant Love

Topic - Marriage

Perhaps the most strongly descriptive picture of the depth of married love given in all of scripture is found in the book of the prophet Hosea. There Hosea, in a living picture of God's love for the covenant people, takes to himself the unfaithful wife Gomer. Despite Gomer's repeated unfaithfulness Hosea remembers his covenant love for his wayward wife and strives to reunite her to himself. It is a bitter sweet story in and of itself and only when it is seen as a parable of God's love for His unfaithful people do we begin to understand why God would demand such a task of His faithful servant.

The depth and nature of that love which God has for His people and which ought to characterize a marriage relationship is succinctly described for us in verses 19 and 20 of chapter two. These verses paint a picture for us of what a marriage covenant ought to be. It strips away the false ideas of what our culture says marriage is all about and instead gives a picture of unending faithfulness in God's grace.

There are five characteristics mentioned in these verses that characterize God's redemptive relationship to His covenant people but these characteristics are set in the pictorial context of wedding vows. If we as a people of Jesus Christ were to live by these covenant vows and if we were to model them before a disintegrating society what changes we would see! What a gospel ministry we would have!

Forever

The first characteristic of this covenant marriage is its everlasting nature. "I will betroth you to me forever."

In this age of the disposable and the convenient this is certainly not a popular concept. Indeed many enter into their marriages with prenuptial agreements which look ahead to the dissolution of the marriage as if it is an inevitable fact of life. The divorce rate exceeds the marriage rate and many people have been married at least twice. The norm in some of our inner-city schools is for children to come from broken homes.

Marriage is seen as a path to self fulfilment rather than an act of commitment to another. Our culture enters into marriage with an eye to what we can get out of it and with the understanding that if it is personally unfulfilling we can always opt out.

How very different is the covenant marriage. It is "forever." Not until we both agree to call it quits but until we die. Period. The covenant that God entered into with Abram was sealed with blood. It was forever and neither party, God, nor man, could depart from this covenant relationship under penalty of death. Well man departed again and again and the Son of God died in Jesus Christ to satisfy the penalty of that covenant. That is how seriously God takes the matter of covenant.

Righteousness

The second set of characteristics that mark this covenant marriage are righteousness and justice.

In all of our decisions, in all of our actions, in all of our thinking, our marriage relationship is to be characterized by righteousness and justice.

This means of course that for our marriage to be a true covenant marriage we must look to Him who alone is righteous and just. Only the Word of God and Jesus Christ who is revealed through that Word, can show us how to be righteous and just toward our marriage partner. Our tendency is to be selfish, to think of how we can get the better part of a relationship but here the picture is very different.

Questions of parenting, of finances, of work, of recreation are all to be understood and solved by reference to these twin characteristics of righteousness and justice. We are to model Jesus Christ in our marriage so that we are willing to surrender even our lives for the growth in grace of our wife or husband. Can you imagine the witness of the Church of Jesus Christ if our marriages and our child rearing were always marked with these characteristics. Our world would never be the same! We would lose self and discover the Righteous One.

Love

Certainly this is the first thing most people think about when they think of marriage. Love. Prince charming who will come and sweep the beautiful princess off of her feet and lead her away to live happily ever after.

The world and its media have cheapened the true meaning of love. Love has become equated with lust. Love is fleeting, love is here today and gone tomorrow. But that is not love. It is a hormonal condition.

Covenant love is a decision to be loving and compassionate. To act lovingly even when we don't want to be loving. To love our husband when he leaves his dirty socks under the bed. To love our wives when they prepare that liver casserole we can't stomach. To be loving and compassionate means that our actions are directed by an attitude that desires what is best for the other.

This attitude of love and compassion is a contradiction of our natural self. It is a denial of the old man and a cultivation of Christ-like values and attitudes. It is a choice and it needs to be made anew every hour of every day. When we act lovingly we will begin to love.

Faithfulness

"I will betroth you in faithfulness."

How often are we faithless? How often do we betray this covenant promise? Not that we are necessarily unfaithful in the sense of being an open adulterer but how often do we entertain unfaithful thoughts? Do we ever display unfaithful attitudes?

We need to ensure that our partner is sure of our love, sure of our faithfulness. We need to build that attitude of trust and trustworthiness that is so absent in a world which tells us over and over again that we deserve better. Faithfulness rebukes that thought and tells us that our covenant is what is most important and that God requires us to be faithful. That is what is best for us. That is what is best for our marriage, our family, our society.

Acknowledge

The final characteristic of this covenant marriage is its purpose. Not the fulfilment of self. Not having children. Not any of the things the world understands. The purpose of marriage is so that we would lead each other, our families, and the world in which we live, to acknowledge the Lord.

As we live out this covenant marriage we will shepherd our partners and our children. We will lead each other to a fresh discovery of God's graciousness to us and we will become living examples of the gospel. Whether other's like to admit it or not these sort's of covenant marriages will bear a fruit. They will cause others to acknowledge the Lord.

That is the purpose of the Christian families we are establishing. They are to be relationships of light in a dark world. Relationships that leave others without excuse. As they see God's grace working in and through our marriage they will be caused to acknowledge the Lord. The glory for faithful covenant marriages will not go to communication techniques or good marriage preparation, as important as these may be, but the glory will be given to the Lord our God.

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