Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - June/91

Contributor - Rhoda Cairns

Title - Your Church Can Be A Healing Community

Topic - Outreach

In the days before governments became primarily responsible for health care, hospitals were frequently founded and maintained by churches. More than just medical centres, these hospitals were intended "for those in need of shelter and maintenance" as one dictionary puts it; their doors were open not only to the sick and wounded, but also to the elderly, the infirm, the destitute, the orphaned. For many, such hospitals provided the only place of refuge and hope to which they could turn in their need.

Today, the cry is up among health care professionals and ordinary citizens demanding the government provide "quality health care" for all. What about the church, which is now largely out of the business of institutionalized health care? Do we not still have a role to play, in providing communities of healing in a society where. people carry invisible wounds that a doctor can never touch?

This world desperately needs churches who are committed to becoming such places of refuge. The emphasis today is on "fast track" living. People are expected to balance demanding careers with the responsibilities of family life, and still engage in a plethora of meetings, extracurricular activities for children and personal enrichment classes. Technology has reduced us to masses of numbers, while psychology has enthroned our right to be selfcentred and self-fulfilled. Add to this tfi-e- transience in our society which removes people from familiar and stable networks, while at the same time more and more families experience the breakdown of husband-wife and parent-child relationships. The newspapers are full of stories of sexual abuse, teenage suicide, and global unrest. In the midst of all this, the media shouts, "Be happy! Be successful! Just do this or take that and life will be wonderful!" The end result? People who, on the inside, feel lonely hurt and unloved, yet who feel they have to maintain on the outside the appearance of being successful and in control of their lives.

What do people find when they come into the church? Is it just another place where everyone is pretending to be what they think other Christians expect them to be? How do we respond when we meet a leather-jacketed, ear-ringed biker in the lobby; or when we find out someone in the church has been diagnosed as manic depressive? or when we hear that one of the young people has announced he is a homosexual?

Look at the crowd that followed Christ around: tax collectors, political radicals, (how many of us would welcome those?) women and children, the contagiously sick, the terminally ill. When he was criticized by the religious establishment for the company he kept, Jesus was quick to reply - "I'm not here for people like you who think you've got your lives together. If you're sure you're healthy, you don't need me. I've come to help those who are wounded and hurting and know they need a doctor." If we are to carry out Christ's work in the world, we have to be prepared to give up our comfortable social club mentality in order to become communities of healing.

Let's extend the idea of the church as a hospital. Like the hospital the church can offer different kinds of care to those who are wounded. Emergency or crisis care, where some radical surgery or immediate intervention is necessary is important. Here, church discipline may be called for, as Paul advised the Corinthians, in order that a person's "spirit may be saved" (I Cor. 5:5). Crisis counselling with a professional or prayer counselling with a skilled and discerning servant of prayer can help the deeply wounded through the initially painful necessary steps towards healing. Then we can provide "recovery care" for those who have been through a crisis or who need attention to the cuts, bruises and fractures they receive in daily living. Only the larger body of Christ can provide this "binding and mending" ministry that is so essential to on-going healing. The church hospital also needs to provide "preventative care" to borrow a current buzz word, in the form of generous, repeated doses of love, patience and encouragement, along with a willingness to accept inevitable relapses.

The most important attitude that we need to cultivate, then, is an attitude of acceptance. Hospitals are not offended by wounds or by sickness. They expect that the people who walk (or are carried) through their doors have come for help, not for a pat on the back. My husband recently spent a day in the hospital having experienced a painful kidney stone attack. No one questioned why he was there, or complained that he was taking up their time, or suggested that he keep the groans to a minimum. They accepted his condition, did what they could to alleviate his discomfort and drew on all their resources to deal with the problem. When he was discharged, their last words were, "Now if you have any more pain, don't hesitate to come back."

Often, in the church, we are offended by people's woundedness. David Watson says that there will be no genuine fellowship in our churches until we "stop relating to one another as righteous saints, and start accepting one another as unrighteous sinners." Surely some of our discomfort at seeing sinful, broken people around us stems from our unwillingness to face the pain in our own lives. But if we see the church as a spiritual hospital, we will expect people to have problems; we will accept them as they are and focus on how we can help each other on the long road to spiritual wholeness. Our goal is the same as any hospital's: to bring people to health and to keep them healthy. As Paul expresses it, we are to keep on serving one another until we all "become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." (Eph. 3:13)

In addition to an attitude of acceptance, the healing church will be characterized by an attitude of love. Love is an easy term to bandy about, and we need to define the quality we want. People need to experience a covenant love that commits itself to a person, regardless of that person's response. Covenant love means we seek another's highest good, that we withhold criticism, that we resolve to do or say nothing that would inflict hurt. This kind of love doesn't look for the "quick fix" solution so that we can check off one more problem solved and move on down the list. A friend told me once that when she phones a particular person on her committee, she always sets aside an hour for the call. "When you ask 'How are you?' you have to be prepared to listen," she explained. Love says, "I can set aside my own concerns and needs for awhile to listen, really listen, and to help you carry your burdens for awhile."

Love in a healing community will always find practical expressions. Love may ask you to make a commitment to a single parent to take their children on a regular basis, to give her some much-needed relief from responsibility. Perhaps love might mean committed financial support to a family going through an unemployment crisis. It could be shown through a shower for a pregnant teen and a home where she could be part of a family for awhile. I know of one pastor who advised the women of his church not to welcome the baby of one such young woman (they were brave and held the shower in spite of him). Another pastoral couple I know invited a young expectant mother to live in the suite in their basement. One response offers only condemnation, while the other says, "whatever you have done, we still love you. We're committed to supporting you in a difficult situation."

It is dangerous to practice this kind of love because it is not the kind of love that comes naturally. Any human love we give will always contain a measure of self-centredness, self-seeking, even in its best expression. If we want to live our covenant love, we are asking to be driven beyond our own resources. We will have to learn what it means to depend on God for love only He can pour out in our hearts. It is risky too, because in giving covenant love, we give part of ourselves to another. "Love makes us weak and vulnerable," writes Jean Vanier, "because it breaks down the barriers and protective armour we have built around ourselves." When we extend love, we take the chance that we will be misunderstood, rejected or taken advantage of. But only this kind of love says to people, "I value you enough to go beyond just doing something for you. I believe you are worth the effort it takes to open my life to another. You are worthy of my trust." That attitude, in all its expressions, can bring immeasurable healing in people's lives.

Surely if we practise love and acceptance in our fellowships, we will have solved all our problems. If only that were true! People will still sin, they will let us down, they will disappoint us. In turn, we will feel hurt and angry, perhaps justifiably so. This is where another critical attitude comes in: forgiveness. "Be patient, bearing with one another," Paul says in Ephesians 4. Then, to make sure they've got the message, he repeats himself "Be ... compassionate ... forgiving each other." People spend most of their time in a world where failure is not tolerated; the message is usually "Do it right the first time." Often that attitude surfaces in the church. "Well, we know his record. We'll give him a chance, but... " People are quick to pick up the message that they are on probation, and they will not stick around to see if they have gotten the stamp of approval. Being compassionate and forgiving doesn't mean that we ignore sin or dispense with accountability. But when someone falls (and falls again), we first extend God's mercy to them, and then help them back on their feet to try once more. That's what we do for our children when they are learning to walk; we count the steps, not the falls. We can do no less for any child of God.

What kinds of structures best help a church to become a healing community? Most effective are structures that allow people to come together in smaller groups to learn to open up and share their lives with each other. Vital in our church are the groups that meet weekly or bi-weekly in people's homes. They vary in their make-up, their degree of commitment and their agendas, but they all provide a place where cries for help can be more readily heard than in the larger gatherings of the church. Retreats for men, women, couples, parents, and various leadership groups have helped people draw apart to listen to God, their own hearts and each other. Often significant spiritual progress and healing comes out of these retreats. Special interest groups, too, have an important role to play: college and career, singles, parent support groups, artists, writers. The key here is to let the need dictate the group, and not be under pressure to have a "swinging seniors"' group just because the church down the street does.

Whatever the structure, the focus needs to be on people and their needs, not on the structure itself. Flexibility and readiness to change will keep programs and ministries effective. For example, to support the at-home Mother, our church offers a weekly morning program for women to enjoy while their children are cared for. At the same time, the church operates a daycare to express support for mothers who have outside jobs. Another ministry began as a spontaneous response to the needs of a number of families who lost their belongings in a fire in a townhouse complex, and has since evolved into a clearinghouse that takes donations of household furniture and goods and distributes them to fill needs in the church and community.

Even large gatherings like a Sunday morning worship service can communicate welcome acceptance. When people come into the church, are they greeted by the sight of the new four-tiered, plexiglass fountain, or by a friendly handshake and a cheerful face? Do those leading the service communicate by example that a three-piece suit is not the only acceptable form of dress? Are visitors acknowledged in the service without embarrassing them? Is there an opportunity after the service for people to do more than pass each other in the lobby? I know of one church that not only has greeters at the door, but also host families each Sunday who invite any newcomers home after the service for a light snack.

Finally, in order to become a healing community, the church must commit itself to equipping people to minister to each other. "Releasing people to minister means setting them free to meet other people's needs whenever and wherever they can," points out Jerry Cook. Much of what needs to happen to make the church a place of healing can only happen outside the walls of the church building. Perhaps the greatest tool leadership can give their people is a deep understanding of who they are in Christ and how they can use the gifts he has given them right now, not to prove their worth, but simply to show love to those whose lives touch theirs. Teach grace, and teach it again, for only as people feel truly loved and accepted by God will they be able to extend that same grace to others. Let the ministries of the church be designed to facilitate peoples' gifts. Allow programs to grow out of people's desire to serve in certain areas rather than simply slotting them in wherever there is a need. Be sure that people know that it is all right to feel inadequate, that we are all in the process of being healed, and that God can use us in our weakness and brokenness.

"The community", writes Jim Wallis in Call to Conversion, "is the place where the healing of our own lives becomes the foundation for the healing of the nations." As we learn to take off our own masks and give people the freedom to be themselves, healing can begin. We are called by Christ to provide places of refuge to the wounded and hurting, to become communities not confined to a particular building or location, but freed to carry Christ's healing wherever his people live and work and play.

Please click the "Back" button of your browser to return to previous page.