Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - June/85

Contributor - Aafke Romkes

Title - Be Angry, but sin not

Topic - Anger

If anger is not restrained, it is frequently more hurtful to us, than the injury that provokes it. - Seneca

Everyone has feelings and emotions. People are happy and sad, they are anxious, scared or just plain mad. All of these different emotions are deeply rooted in the human psyche. Anger, a very strongly and commonly felt emotion, is often the result of frustration and associated with aggression. Everyone not always show or even acknowledges all their emotions in order to peace and harmony with those and close to them. Experts on human behaviour say that this suppression or even denial of anger may lead to depression, illness and, the longer anger builds up, to irrational outbursts. Therefore, they advocate the release and expression of anger as beneficial. However, when we look around us, it becomes clear that instead of increasing our well-being and creating better relationships, this expression of anger most often occurs in very destructive ways. The incidences of violence, child and wife abuse and murder have grown to epidemic proportions.

Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount said, " . . . But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgement." As Christians, then, we need to learn to cope constructively with our own and other people's anger. Paul in Ephesians chapter four writes, "Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger ... Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Paul acknowledges that people will be angry, but it is how this anger is expressed and used where the difficulty lies. David states in Psalm 4:4, "Be angry but sin not, commune with your hearts on your beds and be silent." I am not suggesting that we take to our beds every time we get angry, but an honest evaluation of our anger and ourselves certainly is desirable. Above all assume responsibility for your own anger, "He makes me so angry," we say. However, no one can make or force us to feel anything we do not want to feel. Our anger is not forced on us from outside, it comes from within. Our freely chosen response to a certain person or situation and selected by us from other, possible equally valid, responses. We could have reacted by feeling sad, hurt or scared, which in turn could have resulted in a very different outcome of an argument or altercation. Some people use anger to justify behaviour that they would other. se not permit themselves, or become angry in response to an interpretation or guess made about someone's behaviour or words which may not be correct. We need to be in touch with and be honest al)out our feelings and realize that feelings are separate from behaviour. No matter what the provocation or how angry we decide to be, we do not have to act out our anger in ways that hurt ourselves or others. We all want love and respect and become angry when we feel slighted or are not treated in ways we consider appropriate. We need to ask ourselves, if we are always ready to give or respond to this real need in others. Sometimes however, we feel that our anger is justified; for instance when we witness or experience something that is definitely a sin or a crime. We must be very careful, though, not to fall into the trap of self-righteousness. We only have to look at Moses, to see how even a great man of God can make this mistake. Such circumstances require great compassion and understanding. The rule of an eye for an eye or tooth for a tooth is no longer applicable. Long-lasting results are seldom produced when we try to force our opinions or beliefs on others. For example, in the case of the rehabilitation of hard-core criminals. As long as we are in charge of their situation, for instance in prison, we are able to control their actions, but if their values have not fundamentally changed they will soon revert back to their original way of life. The roots of the problem have to be dealt with if we are to change the injustices and wrongs of this world. Psalm 139 speaks of this dilemma, David has opened his heart before God and is praising Him for all His goodness, but then David remembers his enemies. His praise turns to anger and the trembling of his heart before God is replaced by wrath towards men. They have acted wrongly and God must punish them. Here lies the roots of intolerance and fanaticism. David makes no allowances and leaves no room for the possibility that one day his enemies may come to realize their wrong-doing and come to God to beg His forgiveness. David's anger makes him feel equal to God and contradicts the Spirit of Him, who forbade his disciples again and again to hate His enemies as the enemies of God. God's thoughts are not our thoughts. When we are truly the children of God, our attention is no longer focused on ourselves but we will feel love and understanding for our fellow pilgrims on the road to Heaven. If our neighbour demands we walk one mile with him, we will put our pride aside and walk two miles with him and so show our complete trust in our Lord. At times this will be difficult.

We often use our anger as the way to avoid responsibilities and pain. Let us then consider Jesus, the beloved Son of Almighty God, Ruler of the Universe, who was nailed to the cross by sinful man and there allowed to die. Are we greater than He, that we should not suffer? Let us use our anger as a guiding light to areas of conflict and use its energy as a spur to subdue and overcome the wrongs in ourselves and this world we live in.

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