Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - June/81

Contributor - Grace Reinders

Title - Youth

Topic - Youth

In April of 1979, I completed a course at Fanshawe College in London that gave me the title "Child Care Worker" (C.C.W.). No, I'm not a professional babysitter, nor am I a psychiatrist. I suppose what I do is somewhere in between. There are several settings a C.C.W. can work in, and I presently have a position at a treatment home for emotionally disturbed adolescent girls; eleven teenagers with very different personalities, but one common need - to be understood. Here is a day in the life of one of our "on the road to being understood" residents, Jenny.

It is 7:15 a.m. as I tip toe into Jenny's room to wake her up. My memory takes me back to the first time I woke her and I remind myself-, don't touch her, not only will she verbally resent you for most of the morning, but you may get bruised in the deal as well. I get no response 'no my cheerful "good morning", but I know Jenny has heard me. Just to let her Know I'm onto her act without sounding condescending I add, "if you hurry you can grab the tub, no one else is in the washroom yet". I close the door and proceed with ten other personalized wake-ups. About one and a half hours later breakfast is over and the girls on meal chores for the week begin clearing and rinsing the dishes while the others have a cigarette before school begins. Jenny's duty is loading the dishwasher' She's had ten minutes to remember on her own, but now has to be reminded. I lean on the door frame of the T.V. room, "Coming to load the dishwasher, Jenny?" I ask ... I know I'm interrupting a card game. "I'm really tired of being nagged all the time, Grace. I've still got ten minutes before school...... I think I know how you feel, Jen. I'm really tired of nagging. As a matter of fact, soon I won't do it anymore. I'll ask someone else to do your chore. " Jenny gets up and gives me her 'aren't you tough' glare. She'll do her task as she realizes having another resident do it for her would mean a decreased allowance, and teenagers never seem to have enough money.

At noon I have a few extra minutes and ask Jenny if she'd like help with the dishes. I find that most of the girls will talk more freely when they feel we are working with them and not over them. I want to ask her about yesterday's incident at school. Jenny and another resident were very angry at their teacher and walked out of class. "Is today going better, Jenny?" I ask. "Yeah, I guess so. Carol's happy to see I've got my homework done for a change" she says rinsing the mugs and glasses. "Was that the problem yesterday? I mean, the homework not being done?" "Uh-huh. But Grace, how can she expect us to do homework on the weekend? Nobody does homework on their days off "Carol does homework on the weekend to prepare for school on Monday. She expects that from you too, so that the class runs smoothly. That's fair isn't it?" I'm hoping this makes sense to Jenny. "Not really, she get's paid," Jenny retorts triumphantly. "So you'd like your efforts to be recognized too, right?" Jenny and I sit down at the table. I think I've got her heading towards a possible solution. She offers me a cigarette and then grins when she remembers I don't smoke. "What do you want me to do, ask her for minimum wage when I've got my math and English done?" Jenny asks sarcastically. "Cute, Jen," I replied. "Money's out of the question, but how about something related to the class room?" I could go on and offer an answer to my question, but it's time for our in-house school to begin its afternoon classes. Jenny says, "I'll think about it". "Ask Carol what she thinks, too. She may surprise you!" On that note I turn to another resident who has neglected to put shoes on. When they're all in class again, the staff on shift with me begins the paper work necessary every day. Each girl has a file which outlines her history and how she is presently functioning. More importantly, it explains what we are doing to help each individual resident.

At 3:00 another school day is over and the girls disperse for their free-time. Some of them watch "General Hospital", others play cards or scrabble, while still others go to the local plaza where they'll buy cigarettes or a treat of some sort. Jenny and Dianne are having a conversation about this coming weekend. Both of them, at 15 years of age, are crazy about guys. Not just any guy mind you. Jenny's choice is usually 21 years or older, listens to hard rock (Van Halen style) and loves a "good time". Jenny clears her throat as she sees I'm within earshot and then inquires, "What do you think, Grace, will staff allow us a 2:30 a.m. curfew on Friday night?" "Why do you need such a late curfew, Jenny?" "Because Dianne and I want to go downtown with my friends, Brad and Steve, and see Lager Rock at the planetarium," Jenny looks at Dianne and smirks. There's obviously more to the plan than what Jenny has told me. "Why don't you two write out your plans for Friday evening, explaining who you're going with and how you'll get there@ Asking for a 2:30 curfew makes me wonder just what you plan on doing. if it seems reasonable, we can probably compromise from our usual curfew (12:00). 1 know coming back from downtown takes a bit longer." Later on that evening Jenny brings their written proposals to the office. She'll have an answer by tomorrow. "Thanks, Jen. Did you get some of your rughooking done tonight?" Many of our girls have crafts underway. "No, someone stole the hook and I have a good idea who did it." Why, I ask myself, do these issues come up at 9:45, 15 minutes before bedtime? "And who do you suppose has it, Jenny?" "Never mind, I'll look after it in my own way. I've got a score to settle with her anyway. Good-night Grace, make sure someone looks over our plans for Friday night, O.K.?" Jenny shuffles off to the dorm area. "Good-night Jenny." I look at my watch and suddenly realize that some of the girls are watching a movie that won't be over until I 1:00. I mentally rehearse my lines for the up-coming battle of wits ....

I'm a Child Care Worker; I meet to need to be understood.

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