An Open Letter in Response to Your Kind Words

by Case Koolhaas

RE: September 16, 1998

Dear Jim,

Thanks for your kind words of congratulations on my 25th Ordination anniversary.

I feel compelled to stop and reflect at a time like this. I am painfully aware that many start in the pastorate but drop out somewhere during the race. I can only say, "His grace was abundant for me. He still works mighty miracles. Just look at the way He has sustained me in these 25 years!"

As I look back over these 25 years, I recall several times in the early years when I took steps to go back to forestry. I felt I did not have what was needed to be a pastor. During one of those "Lord, I cannot take this anymore" prayer sessions, the Lord gave me the words of John 15:16 as an answer, "Case, you did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last." In time, the fact that being a pastor was not my idea, but His, began to take hold of me. What a revelation! He chose me, warts and all! He chose me with all my handicaps, shortcomings, and quirks. He chose me and positioned me to bear fruit. What a promise! Fruit that would last for eternity! I never heard of trees living that long.

I would not want to relive those early years again, but I'm profoundly thankful that He did not give up on me. Being a pastor is, above all, a great honour. I am God's servant, His emissary. Whether I like it or not, when people feel they cannot reach God, they often turn to a pastor. There have been hundreds and hundreds of times, maybe thousands, in the past 25 years when I drove up to a hospital or home or jail or restaurant feeling totally inadequate for the situation I was about to face. I learned to simply pray, "Lord, You chose me and You put me in this situation. I am here to serve You and to do Your will. Please help me." Not very professional and not very profound for someone with a degree in divinity, I know. However, I learned long ago that God is not impressed by my profound prayers. He does respond to availability and admissions of total dependence.

So what do I have to say after reaching this 25-year milestone? Well, it has been interesting, challenging, and exciting. It also has been frustrating, discouraging, and painful at times. In all of that, I have this deep sense that what I have seen and experienced in the past 25 years will be nothing compared to what is yet to come. I have heard and seen glimpses of what God is doing in other parts of the world and what He longs to do in Canada and Langley. I sense that a great outpouring of God's Spirit is coming, but it will not come without a price to be paid by those who choose to be faithful to Jesus Christ.

I am also deeply grateful for Jan. She was not ordained and does not have a degree in divinity, but she has been a divine blessing. I am so thankful for her love for Christ and for her family and for me. I thank God for her friendship and companionship. More than ever before, we have a sense of partnership in ministry.

I also thank God for my parents and family. I am grateful for their years of prayer, support, and encouragement. I am deeply grateful to Janelle and Marianne, who have made being a Dad a wonderful experience. Finally, I thank God for the many colleagues and friends whom God has blessed me with over this quarter of a century in ministry. There have been many times when the love, wisdom, and grace of Christ was made real through family and friends. When I was a child, I learned to sing "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so." Looking back over the years I sing, "Jesus loves me this I know, for His people touched me so."

I close with a prayer adapted from the prayer of the One who ran the race before me and Whose footsteps I desire to follow, "Righteous Father, though the world does not know You, I know You, and I pray that they may come to know that You sent me. I have made You known to them and will continue to make You known as You give me strength and grace, in order that the love You have for me may be in them."

To God be the glory!

Joyfully in Jesus,

Case