Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - July/88

Contributor - Babette Moerman

Title - Taming the Tongue

Topic - Women

Perhaps it is only in British Columbia, but there is a standard joke that some men like to tell before the dawn of the computer or "fax" machines - that there are four ways to carry information: telegraph, telephone, telegram and telewoman. We women do not appreciate those kind of jokes, but unfortunately, there is some truth to this statement.

You and I all possess one of the most powerful weapons on the face of the earth - our tongue. With it we can "bless the Lord and Father, and with it we (can) curse men" (James 3:9). The very words that proceed from our mouth can either build up or tear down; encourage or discourage; bring hope or bring disillusionment. But along with this great power also comes great responsibility - responsibility in controlling our tongue and using it wisely.

Let me share with you a little poem I came across recently entitled "The Rumor Mill" -

Let me tell you a story about a local enterprise

There's one in every town - no matter what its size

It doesn't turn a profit or bring in any revenue

It's good for one thing and that's the damage it'll do

It's called the Rumor Mill, the Rumor Mill

If it can be twisted you can be sure it will

Cause there ain't nothing sacred at the Rumor Mill.

The people who work there are all volunteers

The only qualification is a mouth and two big ears

If the story's not clear enough, that's okay

They'll just doctor it up and send it on its way

It doesn't matter who's involved or who it's gonna hurt

As long as folks are listening

they'll keep shoveling dirt

At the Rumor Mill, The Rumor Mill.

Author Unknown

Perhaps the easiest and yet most common and damaging way to misuse the tongue is . . . gossip. Scripture says: "Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to." (I Timothy 5:13). Proverbs 20:19 says, "A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much."

We must realize that while gossip is certainly not to be condoned, it is understandable in worldly realms and among non-Christians. But -surprise, surprise gossip even infiltrates the Church! Has it infiltrated your church? Gossip is especially dangerous in the Church - passing on information before all the facts are known, breaking confidentiality, trying to be on the edge of the fast-breaking news story.

In the Church people deal with people at fairly deep levels of their lives. Consequently, we often learn very personal information - the information that "goes down to a man's inmost part" (Proverbs 18:8). These "juicy" morsels of information are the especially dangerous ones, because people can really be hurt when this information becomes common knowledge.

There are many Scriptures that warn us not to engage ourselves in this practice, and for good reason! Satan uses gossip to break churches, hurt Christians and ruin relationships. As Christians we must guard our minds, take captive every thought, and think before speaking.

It requires a great deal of self-control not to participate in gossip, but self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit so we must employ it. The best proven method to stop gossip and prevent it from going any further is to ... not repeat what you hear. Better yet, respond by sharing something positive about the person being slandered.

Before passing along information, ask yourself some hard questions: "Is this information necessary for me to convey?", Is this information helpful for me to convey')" "What is the purpose of this information?" We must also examine our motivation for "sharing" - "Am I passing this information in order to look good before my friends?" "Am I conveying this information in order to appear on top of church events?" "Why am I sharing this?"

So, let us remember that just as the Bible says, "The tongue is a fire ... set on fire by hell itself" (James 3:6). Let us ask God to give us the strength and self-control to guard our tongues and use them only for good purposes - to praise our Father in heaven and build up our fellow man.

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