Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - July/82

Contributor - Mrs. Mary Verhoog

Title - Thoughts About a Family

Topic - Family

This year marks nearly fifty years of my living in a family. First as a tiny baby being cared for by others and then as a wife and mother caring for others. When asked to write about family life, I felt it should contain thoughts I have lived through or observed.

God created the first family when he placed man and woman together. The next family came by a man and woman leaving their parents and beginning a home for themselves. Our earthly family is meant to be a shelter and someone to whom we can run, telephone or cry when we are hurt or overcome by failure. The Bible sets forth the principle of praise and kindness to each other. When one part of the body hurts, the rest of the body is afflicted and does something to help the hurting.

It begins with a commitment to build something bigger than ourselves. But what a blessing when you know that your family is in the Lord's family and will be in the future eternally together. This is worth giving the very best we can offer. This desire will drive the parent to a life with God that is deep and rich.

Family ... children and parents

Children need to be praised for doing as well as they can even if their marks are not the highest. Praise is needed to help bring out the best in them; it can do wonders for them. The beauty of our relationships with our children and their families can so easily be destroyed by interference. When my daughter married, I decided not to give her advice that was not asked for even when it seemed necessary. At times I have had to bite my tongue. When my sons married I decided to look for something to praise in my daughters-in-law. This always makes my sons proud and I find it strengthens the ties they still have with me. A grandma suggesting that a highchair should be washed every week because the other daughter-in-law does it, is hurtful interference. I love my grandchildren and admire them but may I be spared from the error of giving suggestions about how they should be brought up. The best formula for getting along with relatives is called following the Golden Rule.

Family ... tradition and memories

We moved last year, and eleven family members remained in New Jersey. We had spent years praying, seeking understanding, forgiving and growing, and now we are separated by miles. How can the bond of closeness be kept in a family when the members are scattered?

A few new traditions were begun and shared at holiday seasons. The memories I gather through the year I put in a book of remembrance. Also a cartoon book is prepared with pages dedicated to each family member. A vacation together at grandma's cottage where we are able to play, swim and talk together ensures memories to share in the coming years.

It takes hard work, discipline, commitment and prayer to ensure that a family remains strong, but it is worth fighting for, worth calling a career. May your family be a witness to the reality of the Gospel as you live together in love.

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