Pioneer Christian Monthly - February 16, 1962

Before God and This Company
Rev. Paul Van Der Woude

The manner in which marriage ceremonies are conducted in Canada often leave the newcomer from Holland with an incomplete and strange feeling. A wedding without a sermon, with no congregational participation and with a short ceremony seems to be a week ceremony and a lessening, of the deep religious meaning in marriage. It would be most unkind to assume that the whole ceremony of marriage as practiced in Canada and in the United States is not good because it does not contain some things which have been so characteristic of marriage in the Netherlands. It is the absence of some of the familiar parts of the church wedding which makes the marriage ceremonies appear so strange and incomplete here in Canada.

It is true that there are some basic truths which never change for the Christian no matter where he comes from or where he goes. Marriage was instituted by God when He said of Adam, "It is not good that man should be alone" (Gen. 2 :18). Also, "Therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2 : 24). The Apostle Paul compares marriage to that mystical union which exists between Christ and His Church. There is no doubt that marriage is a most sacred and Holy thing, never to be treated lightly and always to be entered into with the deepest sense of its permanency and sacredness. There is a mutual fulfillment in marriage which can be found only in this beautiful institution created by God.

While marriage may be common to all men, yet the Christian adds to the common concept of marriage the knowledge that this union which he enters into is sanctified by God himself and that he as an individual cannot truly perform his vows fully without constant faithfulness, first of all, to God in Jesus Christ. The Apostle Paul said, "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord" (Eph. 5 :22) and, "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her" (Eph. 5 :25). Who can truly do this, without constant help of the Lord ? Certainly none of us can show the depth of love which has been shown to us in Christ Jesus. The sacredness and solemnity of marriage is an undisputed fact among Christians. The Word of God and the knowledge that the marriage vows are made before God makes the marriage ceremony a very solemn and sacred occasion.

The State, however, has entered into the picture of marriage by setting laws and requirements which must be fulfilled if marriage is to be legal in its sight. Marriage licenses, the publishing of banns, and the registration of legal documents are all requirements for the legality of marriage. In Holland there were two ceremonies, one before the representative of the State and one before the Church with the minister officiating. The marriage before the representative of the State constituted a legal marriage as far as the government was concerned but Christian people felt that the sacredness of marriage should be kept by a ceremony of marriage before the Church and in the sight of God.

It is at this point that there comes a separation in thinking, as far as the solemnizing of marriage is concerned, between the Canadian and the Netherlander. The difference in thinking comes in regard to the position occupied by the minister before both the Church and the State. While the minister, in Holland, stands solely as the representative of the Body of Christ, here in Canada the minister serves in a dual function. He is first of all a representative of the Church but he is also a representative of the State. As a -minister of the Gospel he is consecrated and ordained to the office of the ministry. His task is to do all that is necessary and possible, in accord with the Word of God, to lead the people before God and to God in Jesus Christ. Since marriage is, to the Christian, so important an event both physically and spiritually it comes to the minister as a responsibility to lead those, who would enter into the state of marriage, before Almighty God, as they make their vows together. He is to lead and guide them in the understanding of the solemnity of the fact that they stand, not only before men, but primarily before God as they promise to love, honour and cherish each other until parted by death. It is by reason of the minister's high calling before God that he assumes the spiritual leadership in this important event. The minister is also, at the same time, appointed by the State to be its representative in the solemnizing of marriage. He has been granted a license, signed and sealed, authorizing him to perform this function for the State. This responsibility is given to him in recognition of his spiritual office, his position as ordained and set apart by the Church to spiritual leadership. It is for this reason that, when the minister performs a marriage ceremony he acts in a dual function; before God and before man he spiritually and legally declares the two parties before him to be joined in marriage. The State thus recognizes his spiritual office and empowers him to legally solemnize marriage on behalf of the State.

The implication of this it not that the State now takes precedence over the spiritual in the function of marriage but that one minister by reason of his spiritual calling and ordination is leading two people before God in a ceremony which has both spiritual and legal meaning at the same time. The Christian always regards he first and foremost but spiritual because he is a Christian he also pays due regard to the requirements of the State.

The meaning of this in practical terms is that since the Church and State are combined in the rightful office of the minister in marriage therefore, only one ceremony is required. The Scriptures require that there be two witnesses in order that the truth of.,a thing may be established. While this requirement is not made in direct application to marriage yet the truth of it also applies to marriage. Here in this country it is the requirement that there must be two witnesses to satisfy the conditions set down by the State. The Church has also assumed this as its custom since it is in direct line with the commandment of Scripture. The Church also recognizes the position of the minister as its spiritual under shepherd and as its representative in the case of marriage. The minister stands with the couple to be married and with the witnesses before God to cause them to make their vows knowingly before the Almighty. The wedding form of the Reformed Church in America recognizes this as it begins with these words, "Dearly Beloved: We are assembled here in the sight of God and in the presence of this company". As such it does not demand that this company be a regular congregation neither does it demand that this ceremony be a service of worship with all the parts of a regular worship service. The company may or may not be the body of believers but nevertheless they and the couple to be married are made to know that they are coming before the presence of God Himself for this sacred purpose of marriage. The minister in the light of the Church's recognition of his personal high calling by God to the office of the ministry stands before the people to lead them before God for this solemn purpose for which they have come before him. The Church may look on as a visible witness to the event but the marriage takes place first of all before God. Those -who stand with the couple as witnesses establish that such vows have been spoken and they also attest the same as they sign the registration forms, but the vows are sacred because they are spoken before God. For this reason the couple is pronounced man and wife in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

It is true that here in Canada the wedding is not carried on as a worship service of the church with elder representation a necessary requirement. Weddings here do not have the parts of a worship service, such as a sermon, an, offering and the singing of hymns by the congregation. This is due to the fact that the minister represents the Church as well as the State.

This explanation of why marriages are conducted as they are here in Canada is not meant to be an argument on behalf of the position that what was done before was not right or that it should all be changed. This is a simple recognition that this is the way things are done here in this land and an attempt to understand why. Not all may be in agreement with the concept of the minister representing the church by reason of his ordination as well as representing the State in the marriage ceremony. Many feel that the Church should take the precedence and that the congregation should be represented with its elders so that this ceremony in truth has all the necessary requirements of a worship service. However, the church in this country and in the States does not deem it a necessity that a marriage be conducted as a regular worship service. The North American Church does not regard a marriage ceremony as a worship service but this does not mean that it regards marriage as a ceremony without deep spiritual significance. The repeated use of "before God" is a constant reminder of the attitude of the Church here over against the solemnity and sacredness of marriage. The presence of Almighty God is most solemnly invoked in the understanding that, "Where two or three are gathered together, there am I in the midst of them".

We face the fact that our children will ultimately change over to the Canadian customs in marriage as well as in many other aspects of life. Lest we become too upset over these changes, it is better that we understand the full meaning of the marriage ceremony in Canada. It too is full of rich and deep meaning which we can also come to appreciate and love.

WHY A CHURCH WEDDING?

The young couple choose a church wedding because they seek the blessing of God upon their new relationship into which they are about to enter.

It is also because the congregation takes an interest in this formation of a new unit within the greater Christian circle. The church desires to help this new family to become a healthy unit in the Body of Christ, His Church.

The couple knows that the Bible and the Church have much to say about prayer, about the family, and about Christlike love. They can find a solid foundation for a blessed home through worship, prayer, and Bible reading.

Being joined in marriage is a tremendous step. On their wedding day the bride and the groom make a solemn covenant with God and enter into a lifelong contract with each other.

They will want to consider seriously what they are promising, and with the pastor's guidance, seek to find the spirit by which their wedding and the new family unit they are forming can be truly Christian.

A wedding does not become a holy ceremony simply because it is held in a place of worship with a clergyman officiating. The use of a church building dedicated to God's glory presupposes that all thought and attention is to be directed toward Him.

The marriage service is not just a festive occasion with a touch of religion added on. It should be a service of worship throughout, in which vows are made, prayers are offered, and the word preached, where a real blessing is being sought.

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