Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - Feb/94

Contributor - Sue Jackson

Title - As For Me and My House: Tradition into Mission - The Family

Topic - Family

When thinking about the traditional family from a secular sense, there does not appear to be one. There are nuclear families, blended families, single parent families and many more combinations that appear to work. However, are they all blessed by God? As Christians we have one reliable authority - the Bible, and it does indeed have something to say about the family.

Marriage is seen as a desirable union between man and woman (I Cor. 7:3-5) and one that has some clear guidelines for behaviour. The man is the undisputed head of the family. His leadership, according to Ephesians 5:22-33, is carried out with concern and love for his wife. He should be willing to give up his life and reputation in order to protect and nurture his wife. As Ephesians 5:25 says "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word." When the Lord Jesus took the sins of Humanity upon Himself and emptied Himself of all His status, He provided redemption for us all. What a role model for husbands to emulate when relating to their wives. What love they must act on. With such concern shown by a husband most women should respond positively to their husbands' suggestions and actions. Ephesians 5:22 says "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."

Men, in their role as fathers have further instructions. "Fathers, do not exasperate you children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." (Eph. 6:4) As parents, we are called to "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6) For children who have not embraced their faith during their teen or young adult life, if we have been faithful we can still be hopeful that the seeds of faith which have been sewn will eventually come to bloom in their lives. A family that is Christ centred, which this biblical model definitely is, will be living the gospel. There is no better teaching environment for children than to see the love of Christ in action daily in their family. Talking about the Lord is natural in this home and "instruction of the Lord" becomes spontaneous sharing.

One tradition threads its way through our twenty years as a family. That is the activity of prayer. It has become a tradition. During the children's school years, we had many difficult decisions to make. One of our children has a learning disability, also known as dyslexia, and needed specialized teaching methods not available in the regular classroom. The alternatives were available but appeared to be a closely guarded secret by our local school board. On one occasion when we met with officials to obtain appropriate placement for our child my husband suggested he do the talking. He felt it was less confusing if one voice was clearly heard stating our concerns and requests. I was to sit and pray. The meeting began rather negatively with the two sides clearly marked. I prayed on; never opening my mouth to contribute my voice to the many already speaking. Half way through the meeting, just as I was beginning to feel we were getting nowhere, everything changed. Program placement with a specialized teacher was offered and other options assessed for suitability. The group that had started in two divided camps was now working enthusiastically as a cooperating unit. After the meeting, when reviewing the proceedings together, my husband was as astounded as I was at the turn of events. To me it was a miracle!

The home is an important mission field. Children can be very different and our two are no exception. The oldest has had success in every activity with which she has become involved. Teachers, coaches, and people in leadership positions appear to enjoy working with her for she grasps what is required quickly, performs the tasks accurately and as a result gives them instant and positive feedback. On the other hand our youngest, as an elementary school aged child, rarely provided instant gratification. To integrate new information into a situation could require various approaches when it was being explained or demonstrated. In other words, her leaming disability had hidden her treasures from clear view. However, they were there, and as the years have gone by an amazingly capable person has shown through. It has been our privilege, as her parents, to discover who God has created. As I have said to her, she has been our mystery to discover. The obvious is fun while the hidden is a challenge.

God set a similar challenge before Samuel when he was told to go to Jesse's family and anoint the future king of the tribe of Israel. When he arrived, Jesse appeared to present him his seven capable sons. Samuel, when surveying them, felt he could pick out the winning candidate. However, God quickly corrected him. "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Many look at the outward appearances, but the Lord looks at the heart." (I Sam 16:7) When God rejected each of the seven sons, Samuel asked Jesse if these were all the sons he had? David, the youngest, who was tending sheep was then presented to Samuel. God informed Samuel that David was the one, and commanded him to be anointed.

As God helped Samuel become aware of the more important inner qualities of the candidate, He has also helped us to see the invisible strengths of our children. He has handed us a key to unlock the hidden treasures found within each child and has also shown us how to use the key. Like Samuel, we are never left to our own insights or wisdom, which are often lacking. We can rely on the Holy Spirit for guidance. Our mystery child is now sixteen. She has become an honour student, member of three school sports teams, a student coach, and Sunday school teacher. Additionally, she is a patient, compassionate, loving person with great people skills. By nurturing and providing an encouraging positive home environment for her and with a lot of hard work on he part, one by one her talents have been uncovered and allowed to grow. Today, in her dealings with authority figures, she also make them look good.

As I quickly found out, as a wife and mother I had none of the answers but scripture with the support of the Christian community could provide me with them. God has given us the tools to use, and the instructions to use them. He has also given us fellow labourers to work to encourage, and support us when we need it. We as Christian families, because of our mutual relationship with Christ, can function as supportive extended families. What a comforting thought. We may fail momentarily but the success is ours because it is His and we are His.

The result of strong families is a stronger society. The faith fostered in the family can then go out into the community as we live and share the Christian message with a hurting world.

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