Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - Feb/84

Contributor - Anonymous

Title - Are You There?

Topic - Death

If our brothers and sisters in Christ fail us, shouldn't we, in love, point this out? Eccl. 3:1 - 2 says: "There is a right time for everything: A time to be born, a time to die." At one time or another we all must deal with the death of a loved one. Oh, how we rejoice in a birth! But what about death? As Christians, we have the knowledge that our loved one is truly home. We also have the hope of being reunited in Heaven. But does this mean that Christians don't suffer? One famous talk show host seemed to think that we shouldn't. His comment was that he couldn't understand why Christians were so upset at funerals when they should be happy because their loved one was in Heaven.

Death is a traumatic experience, whether you are a Christian or not. We are carnal beings and therefore suffer, with our carnal feelings, at the loss of a loved one. There is the agony of the mind, physically and emotionally, from lack of sleep and hours of crying: the feeling that the world has just stopped. And there's the time when, in your deep sorrow, you stop short. You ask yourself - why am I crying? I'm just having a bad dream, a nightmare. This isn't really happening to me. Someone come and wake me up. But as you look at the faces around you, you realize that it's not a bad dream, it's reality. Your loved one has gone to his eternal home.

Grief is mixed with anger. God, why did You do this to me? Why me? On and on, over and over, anger and confusion is directed to God. You are the Almighty, why did You let this happen? You can raise him from the dead, why won't You? Oh, the amazing love and patience of God! The abuse He listens to when grief and anger and confusion overwhelm us!

My brothers and sisters in Christ, where are you? Your grieving family needs you! Sure, we show our respect and sympathy by attending the funeral, but then what? For us this is the end, the completion of our duties. The beginning of a new life. A life without a husband or wife, a life without a father or mother, or a life without a son or daughter. Isn't this a time when we need to share our Christian love the most? Matt. 22:39 says that we should love our neighbour as much as we love ourselves. How do we share our love? We can offer a listening ear. We can offer a shoulder to cry on. We can offer our support by saying: "Hey, I love you, and I'm here if you need me." We can share our precious memories. You know, when someone dies we never speak about that person. Why? Sure, sharing memories may bring back a flood of tears, but, your memories may also bring a spark of joy to that grieving person. Where is the love and compassion Jesus showed? Shouldn't we, with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, also show our love and compassion for our brothers and sisters in Christ?

How often do we think of the lonely widow(er)? Do we help them in their loneliness? Do we ever phone them just to say " hi", or to see how they are doing There are also those special days like Christmas, or a birthday, or an anniversary, when the pain may come to overwhelm them. What do we do about this? Anything? What about the children? Do we enfold them in our arms? In Luke 18:16 Jesus said: "Let the children come to me." Do we also take this same stand that Jesus took? Do we take them under our wings and make them feel like they are an important part of the family of God? When the parents have their children baptized, the congregation recognizes that they also have a responsibility to assist in the Christian nurturing of those children. Do we take that responsibility seriously?

We need a kind of Christian fellowship that makes us sensitive to the needs of others. We need to be able to share their tears as well as their joys. We need to love others with the love of Christ. Not just for one week, or one month, or even one year. God gives us the strength, over the years, to live without a loved one by learning to lean on Him. He also allows us to get a glimpse of His perfect plan. We can now say: "Praise God, my loved one is happy, he's home! God's will is perfect!" But there are still those days, maybe one month, one year, or maybe even several years later, when we allow our human emotions of sadness and loneliness to overwhelm us. On those days your love is very much needed. Are you there?

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