Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - Feb/83

Contributor - Bea Joyce

Title - The Narcissism of Modern Youth

Topic - Youth

"How can you stand the teenagers today?" I am sometimes asked. "If you survive teaching high school in these times, then you are worthy of real admiration." It is true that teenagers today are a breed apart - definitely not the same teens of twenty or fifteen or even ten years ago. Despite the fact that young adolescents undergo change almost by definition, there is now a subtle new element - an undue emphasis on self-will, self-determination and personal rights. Teenagers are, many of them, a product of the "me" culture, the culture of narcissism.

All teenagers go through a type of identity crisis. They are, after all, evolving persons. They are no longer children, and are constantly reminded of that. As soon as they enter highschool, there are subtle social pressures to conform to a more adult style of existence. Dating, money-making, money-spending, learning to drive, choosing a career - all of these place a tremendous burden on teens who are at the same time trying to sort out their concepts of self and cope with physical changes too. It is no wonder that they react to the pressures in a sometimes anti-social manner, for they are still children dependent on adults for emotional and physical support.

Enter into the midst of this very typical adolescent conflict, the twentieth century philosophy of narcissism. Narcissism, in the larger context, may be defined as society's undue concern with self. The lifestyle of many modern adolescents reflects narcissism in countless ways. Advertising geared towards teens convinces them of their "need" for designer jeans, a Sony walkman, a Pac-Man computer game - all the material things that will presumably enrich their lives and make them happier. And if "things" cannot accomplish this, then experiences, they are told, will. A trip to Florida during the March break, attending a live rock concert, an action-packed weekend at the cottage complete with the "fun" beverages, will win them friends and make life more enjoyable.

The narcissistic view of life is also reflected in their TV idols. One of the most popular shows, The Dukes of Hazzard, makes light of the egotistical, irresponsible behaviour of its two protagonists. In common parlance, they are "doing their own thing" and so are not only tolerated but even admired. Under the guise of helping someone in distress and seeing true justice done, these two miscreants destroy their own cars, destroy other people's property and walk away from it all as heroes deserving the Victoria Cross.

Even in school, the emphasis on competition in sports and academics can foster the wrong attitude, that of winning at all costs. Thus cheating on a test is not uncommon. And if the student is caught, he usually loses no status among his peers. Temper tantrums on the playing field, though such conduct is usually reprimanded, are nevertheless tolerated and even admired by some fans. These symptoms of the "me" culture emphasize that some young people today feel whatever they want to do, whether it hurts others or ultimately even themselves, is quite acceptable.

It is no wonder that with all these influences encouraging self-gratification and surface pleasures, some teenagers have difficulty attaining a state of true inner peace and contentment. They see much of the adult world embracing the "me" philosophy and they simply follow suit. They "do their own thing" by dabbling in drugs, by arguing with teachers over personal restrictions and rights, by refusing to comply with rules set down by parents, by following the dictates of their peers.

Christopher Lasch, in his recent best seller, "The Culture of Narcissism" (Warner Books, 1979), points out that living for ones self is a losing proposition. "Privatism . . . (his term for the "me" philosophy) advises people not to make too large an investment in love and friendship, to avoid excessive dependence on others, and to live for the moment". Lasch states that these attitudes are the very ones which lead to feelings of isolation, despair and distress among people.

The teenagers who grow into happy, mature adults have already discovered this truth. They know that life is most meaningful when it is not self-oriented but rather outward oriented; they understand that one's own hurts disappear in the process of helping others. Jesus encouraged love and compassion for other people, for He said, "You shall love your neighbour as yourself" (Mark 12:3 1). Many great writers have expressed the same thought. Leo Tolstoy once wrote: "Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service, and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness".

A teenager who is a true Christian, even though he or she is going through a difficult phase in life, will not have an identity crisis in one sense. He will know that he belongs to the Lord, that God will guide him through any emotional turmoil if he will just trust Him. The more we encourage our young adolescents towards self-less Christian attitudes, the less the world will be able to influence them. The more they learn to give lovingly to those in need in Jesus name, richer their lives will be. Jesus knew how to combat narcissism. In today's rapidly changing and confusing world, it is more important than ever that all of us listen to Him.

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