Regional Synod of Canada - Reformed Church in America

Pioneer Christian Monthly

Date - Feb/82

Contributor - Cindy Woudstra

Title - How to Honour Your Mother and Father

Topic - Youth

Exodus 20, verse 12 says, "Honour your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you". Ephesians 6, verses 2 and 3 repeats this same verse and says in brackets "(this is the first commandment with a promise)". I am sure that we all want to live a long life on this earth, so that means we had better honour our mother and father. Well ... how then do we honour our mother and father?

A good way to honour our mother and father is to obey them. The meaning of "obey" is to follow the commands, or guidance of someone. This means when Mom says, "Please take out the garbage," you do it and do not give twenty reasons why you cannot. It means when Mom and Dad expect you to be home by a certain time, you do not arrive a couple of hours later. Paul said to the church at Colossae, "Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord" (Col 3:20). Being obedient is honouring our parents and it pleases God.

Listening is another way of honouring Mom and Dad. Before we can obey our parents we must be able to listen to their directions and instructions. Our parents have insights that we are able to learn if we can listen carefully. Proverbs 1: 8 says, "Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and reject not your mother's teaching", and in verses 4:1 it says, "Hear, 0 sons, a father's instructions and be attentive that you may gain insight". Mothers and fathers always seem to know best, therefore it is essential that we listen to them. If we fail to listen to our parents, Proverbs 30:17 warns, "The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures". After reading this verse, I am sure we all will want to honour our mothers and fathers by listening to them.

To honour our Mom and Dad is to respect them. Showing respect to our parents will gain their respect for our feelings and views. Mom and Dad are our leaders and we ought to respect them. A child who respects mother and father makes them feel good. Proverbs says, "A wise son makes a glad father but a foolish son is sorrow to his mother'; (10:1).

When I walk down the hallway at school, it horrifies me to hear the way some young people talk about their parents. They say such things as "my old man" and "my old lady" when referring to their fathers and mothers. This kind of talk is by no means a way to respect our parents. They may be older than us, but calling them "old" in that context is not respecting them.

Another way to honour our parents is to care for them when they are old . So many children think that as soon as Mom and Dad are 65 years old, they are ready for an old folks home and a rocker. This is not always true. Many parents beyond retirement age are vibrant, and active and should not be tucked away in some old folks home. If they are unable to care for themselves, we have the obligation to care for them. They took care of us since the time we were babies and we honour our parents by caring for them when they are old. Instruction is clearly given in Proverbs 23:22, "Hearken to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old". Caring for our parents is something we ought to do and it honours them.

Probably, the most important way to honour our mothers and fathers is loving them. Matthew 10:37 says, "He who loves father and mother more than me is not worthy of me". I wonder, sometimes, if some young people have read this passage and took it the wrong way. Loving our parents more than loving God is idolizing them. When we get our "love" priorities right, we then love our parents in the right way. Godly parents love their children, but children must also love their parents, since this is a commandment. Many young people do not love their parents. I know many young people who hate their Mom and Dad. This is no way to lead a life. If you cannot love your own parents, who can you love? Not yourself or anyone else. Mothers and fathers do not always act like they love us, but they do - even when they ground us, because they are usually doing it for our good. Loving Mom and Dad is honouring them.

Obeying, listening, respecting and loving our mother and father are some ways to honour them. If we do these things in an honest, Christian way, God promises us that we will live a long life on this earth.

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