There have been many occasions over the years when visiting a family on house visitation, that I have asked if they participate in any Family Altar activities. It is amazing how many different answers I have had to that question. The variety and complexity of those answers proved to me that the family altar is greatly misunderstood, often misused and most often not used. Let's being by looking at the question, "What is it" and then we will discuss how we can use it.

The family altar is not just a matter of praying together after a meal. It is not just Bible reading or meditation. It is not just singing praises or discussing family problems together. It is all of these things and more. It is involving God in your total family life and sharing your God and your faith with the other members of your family.

Think of this relationship as a wagon wheel. In fact, take a few minutes to draw one. Draw a large circle for the rim. In the centre draw a small circle for the hub and put in at least half a dozen spokes joining the two. Where each spoke joins the rim write in the names of members of your family.

Our Tribune God is represented by the small circle of the hub. Father, Son and Holy Spirit communicate with each other around that 'circle'. We communicate with each other via the 'rim'of the wheel. We communicate with God via the spokes of wheel. That should be a two-way communication. We can also communicate with each other by using our spokes, our telephone line to God, asking him to connect us to other family members. Sometimes we crack or break pieces of the rim and we either lose our communication with each other or the connection is very weak. God strengthens that communication.

As with the wagon wheel, so our family altar is affected by breakdown and failure. If one spoke cracks or breaks, the wheel becomes weaker and has trouble bearing the load. We, also, have trouble bearing the burdens of life if our link with God is weakened or broken. If a piece of the wagon wheel's rim is cracked or missing, the ride becomes very bumpy. The stress on the wheel is enormous. Our family life becomes very bumpy and stressful when communication with a member is broken or weakened. Think of your own family and how this may apply.

Maintaining that total communication is so very important to the future of the family and the church. To see how this family altar relationship affects the church, erase the names of your family members from the wheel diagram and substitute the sur-names of different families within your church. Consider again the points we have just discussed. Remove those family names and write in the names of various Christian churches with which you are familiar. What conclusions can you now draw?

My friends, so many values are dependent upon the spiritual health of the family. Commitment, compassion, witnessing, thirst for spiritual knowledge, wisdom and truth all being with and are nurtured, through a healthy relationship with God and your family. It is your responsibility to get the wheel rolling. Communication is the key. Your family members should sooner or later, come to the point where they can feel free to openly discuss their joys, their sorrows, their likes, their dislikes, their confusions and their revelations with the rest of the family and with God, knowing that you are all part of the same body through Jesus Christ, who is the cornerstone of your family. This kind of openness may take some time, especially if you haven't been in the habit of praying together or meeting together as a family. (Please do not force anyone to participate. Let God's Spirit work within them as he wills.)

A good place to start your family altar is at the dinner table. Select a devotional to read, which is appropriate to the ages of your family members. (If you are unsure of what may be appropriate, at the end of this article is a list of devotional materials that are readily available in the Christian bookstores or through your church).

Read a devotional selection of not more than five minutes in length, then apply it to your family life through questions or discussion. Conclude with a prayer. Try to involve every family member in some way. Your prayer may take the form of a circle prayer. Each person mentions one "please" and one "thank you" as you proceed around the table. You may alternate the prayer responsibilities; or you may want to establish this responsibility as the duty of the head of the household. If so, make sure others participate by asking everyone for prayer requests. This whole exercise should take no longer than ten to twelve minutes. A small price to pay for family unity.

Another very important part of the family altar could be a weekly or bi-weekly meeting, or family night just for your family members. This is a night when you set aside a longer period of time to discuss family matters, pray together, study the Bible, sing and maybe play some games together. The evening could go something like this:

- First, sing three or four praise songs to get everyone in the right mood.

- Have everyone write down three things they like about each member of the family and read them in turn.

- Discuss improvements needed in your home life (keep the discussion constructive and uplifting).

- You may then want everyone to list some of their favourite meals and try to work some of them into your dinner schedule before the next meeting.

- You could do some vacation planning or pick topics for discussion out of ajar.

- Read a devotional and/or Bible passage. Talk about it as it pertains to you or your family. Remember to ask each family member for input but do not push.

- Set aside a time for prayer. Discuss your prayer requests and involve young children as much as possible. It will not hurt to pray that Sally's teddy bear will be found soon, and will not be too lonely while it is lost. These things are very real to children and they will feel a sense of belonging if their requests are taken seriously.

- Choose a prayer format comfortable to you and your family, as previously mentioned. Let everyone know that God is part of your family and he should be involved in all of your discussions, your planning, your sorrows and your happiness. He is your Heavenly Father and is right there in your meeting, ready to help you, support you and answer your prayers. He wants very much to have fellowship with you and play an active role in your family life. Please do not ignore Him, do not give Him the cold shoulder and do not leave Him out of your planning. It is His alter you have come to.

- You may want to conclude your evening with some family games, refreshments or a sing-song. Always end on a positive note.

Let us not fool ourselves. We all lead very busy lives. Year after year we seem to have more and more to do and less time to do it in. Our lives have become very complex. We have become slaves to our watches. (When was the last time you saw someone who didn't wear a watch?) We have a dilemma, in the sense that as it becomes more and more difficult to plan meaningful family activities and as families slowly drift apart, the family altar becomes more and more important as a means of strengthening family relationship. My advice is to impress it upon every family member that family altar time or whatever else you want to call it, is a sacred time. It cannot be bumped, hurried, moved or removed. It is a vital part of your family routine and should be ranked right up there with eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth and going to church. Remember the wagon wheel and how a crack or break can affect the performance of the whole wheel. Have you checked your family lately? Inspections are free but major repairs can be costly.